Aleana's Journey

The fun things about Double eye infections are that you can’t see correctly before going to the doctor but during the treatment, you still can’t see. Things are a bit fuzzy for me as I am writing this but I feel it is all too important to not address it.

As many might know I live in Tasmania, Australia. Right now since the passage of Equal Marriage, the federal government gave states one year to fix forced divorces of those who are Trans and want to change their birth certificate. In all states and territories of Australia, this was done except Tasmania. Why? well, a lobby group has been trying to attach riders to the bill in an attempt to get a few other things fixed as well. But this has stalled the required legislation change. What this lobby group is trying to do is remove Gender Markers from Birth Certificates. It has stalled in such a big way because the public does not agree with this idea.

A friend of mine whom I respect on facebook posted something. It was very thoughtful and caring. But we ended up with one of the Key Lobbyists to these riders on the required legislation commenting on my thoughts on their riders. Below is the exchange the person is listed as they are a public figure and what was said was done publicly. Though out of kindness I am removing some names and some last names. I would hate people to flame them for their actions.

My friend wrote,

Another Mardi Gras without full marriage equality in Australia. I can’t celebrate until forced divorce for trans people is abolished in Tasmania.

I chose to reply with,

One of the shit things they did in trying to change the forced divorce. Was to add riders to the bill which has stalled the bill. The riders are causing a lot of issues such as an increased negative focus on the Trans community, hate groups blaming the Trans community, and Increased stereotyping. Overall these riders to the bill are just unnecessary and by all rights should be in their own bill to be debated on their own merits. But a few of the community have voiced their ideas as community-wide accepted. Once such person has even gone to telling the public that they will support it in time. Which we all know is not the way to sway the general public.

Then the Lobbyist called Martine replied,

Aleana, yes, that one such person is me. Seriously, if you think this is a shit thing, then you’ve a limited perception of trans rights in Tasmania. Forced divorce needs to end, but it will benefit only the handful of trans people whose marriages survive their transition. The additional amendments will benefit any person who has to deal with a birth certificate that doesn’t represent who they are. 

Successive Tasmanian governments, since 2004, have refused or failed to act on these reforms – because they don’t want to offend their conservative constituents. So, we need to push for change at this time – because they have to table the relevant Act, to change the forced divorce provision. This is the only time the government can be forced to do anything, because the Act is tabled for amendment. 

The government keeps saying it all needs to go to a Law Reform Institute review. Except, when you ask the Premier and Attorney-General if they’ll implement the Institute’s recommendations, they won’t even answer. 

I cannot, for the life of me, work out how you can see the additional amendments as unnecessary. They’re about making everyday life much easier to negotiate, for young trans and GD people. 

Yes, it’s creating some nasty public outcries. From people who’d like to keep trans and GD people where they are. You can outlaw bigotry and hate-speech, but it’s harder to eliminate bigots and haters. Do you not change laws, to avoid upsetting the bigots? They’re not going away. 

Whether you believe it or not, this “one such person” is working with a bunch of clever and dedicated people to try for change that’ll not happen for years, otherwise. For the kids, future trans and GD Tasmanians. If some discomfort happens with this, I’m sorry – but take it up with the bigots doing the harming. 

And, if you seriously think we should leave it alone, instead of upsetting the bigots, then I’ve no time to waste with you.

This was my chance to see how far the rabbit hole was going to go. I wanted answers so I replied,

Martine, We have both lived long enough to know about what riders do to the original bill. “For the life of me”, you all saw what it was doing to our community here in Tasmania. But instead of taking the time and educating the general public you left the riders in, resulting in still fighting an uphill battle. Even going so far as allowing a spokesperson to come close to letting the general pubic think we (the Trans Community) are spoilt children. In so many ways you should have taken a step back and higher a PR firm to run alongside this campaign. Their professionalism is disconnected and would never have release such a shocking statement that was put in The Advocate.

As I have said until you sway the general public you will never affect real change. To use some wonderful example that was done in a video about that change in America. You have a 30% chance of changing the law to the way you want. But without educating the public to be above that 30% nothing will change. Look I just so many others love the changes in Equal marriage. It was about time, that less than 30% is now the ones who now object to it. Why because the footwork was done. 

I like so many others object being called a Bigot because I feel the riders that have been attached are too wide. The full impact of them has not been addressed. Nor has the general public been educated on that said impact. We (people like myself) have been ignored or pushed to the side “I’ve no time to waste with you”. Even though our reason is based on educated logic and is sound. I state openly and loudly that the Groundwork has not been done and the full impact has not been researched. I close with this last statement, The only way out of ignorance is through Education.

This is a rather long post sorry. But I think it needs to get out there. Hoping that this would be the end of it. She replied,

Aleana, was about to respond to every one of your erroneous statements. But, you seem to have formed your view on the basis of government misinformation and the media. The way out of ignorance is to perhaps check in with the people who’ve been lobbying for reform for the past fifteen years or so. Do this, maybe we can have a rational discussion. Cheers.

If you know me my opinions are mine. I do my best to research them and know what I am thinking as well as if I am lacking to ask questions. So, I replied once again. At the same time, I am getting a bit frustrated.

Martine, Well that was another backhanded attack. You see this is why people are not liking what you and the others have put out. You have the approach of a bull in a china shop. First of all my opinions are based on the fact that not the Media. Though I will say the story in The Advocate was not professional in any form. I am a (removed, you don’t need to know my resume’) You lost the ability to have a rational discussion the moment you brought in Bigotry vs. Education. As an excuse for poor research and planning on your part. Your lobby expected the leaders and the public to just roll over as you attached the riders. You thought that they would not take the time and pick apart your riders based on the shortfalls of them. Now you are face to face with a person who is an educated Transwoman and not a Bigot by any means who does not agree with the riders. Because you cannot logically address the shortfalls you go on the defensive and start attacking.

I am not here to be liked. I am here standing up to the sad attempt of railroading a poorly thought out legislation. As well as an even worse show of force to the General public. Telling us how we should feel about it, is an insult on the highest levels. Something that poor parents do to children.
As an informed voter, I look at all points to which I will vote on. The good, the bad and the ugly I am responsible for my votes. You have done no education to the general public. What you have told them is how they should feel about it. Then you also have not addressed the ripple effects of this nightmare. As well as the historical impacts of it. The voters are not stupid and it should have been given its own platform away from what was required by federal law and that was to end forced divorces. 

But like you have stated in your comments to me “I’ve no time to waste with you” and the bastardization of my comment “The way out of ignorance is through Education”. It is clear that as with any standard lobbyist you have your agenda and to hell with anyone who might object to it, even if the objections are sound. In the end, it is all about what the lobby wants who cares about the impact.

I had a gut feeling that there was going to be a reply. I should have just walked away and stopped talking to a wall. But I had concerns about this add ons to the required legislation. So I hoped for a respectful reply….

Aleana, I’m so glad an educated person has turned up, on the tail end of 15 years of a lobbying campaign, to tell us how wrong we are. As mentioned earlier, I’ve no time in life to waste validating your high opinion of yourself. Sadly, in this instance you have nought but a half-baked, ill-advised clue. And it’s because your objections aren’t sound that I have no time for you. You’re pontificating. I’m busy.

I lost my shit, yup my reply was not what it should have been.

Martine, but not to busy to write another smart ass reply. While taking another swipe at me. One would think that in 15 years you would have learned to hire a PR firm to do your talking for you. Or at least learned how not to piss off a voter. You are not winning any points here and more people will read this and start to look deeper into that shady piece of legislation. Then they can develop their own point of view based on their research and asking questions about it. That should scare you, like I said Education leads people out of ignorance.

Yup, okay not very nice. But I was not going to stand there and get slapped for nothing. She replied again. Right now this is looking like a schoolyard bitch fight rather than two educated individuals in a debate. I even felt bad for highjacking my friend’s post. So I sent her a msg saying sorry for what was going on.

Aleana, honestly. No time for you. You’ve no idea, and I’ve no patience for you tonight. Every time you write one of your statements above, apropos “that shady legislation”, your ignorance does harm to the cause of trans & GD rights in Tasmania. If you can’t take the time to learn fact before rabbitting on, then don’t make uninformed commentary. You potentially harm the future of kids who stand to benefit. Stop, please.

It was about this time that I started to think about how can I turn this around. But Martine was starting to piss me off. Instead of remaining calm and composed the teeth came out and my final reply before writing this might not have been so kind. But Oh my to think I am stupid not to do my research and look at this issue on multiple sides, grrrrr. So please forgive my condescending tone in this last reply.

Martine, (exhaustive sigh) You might want to sit down because it is time for an education. Since time as we know it, a child comes out of the womb. The person on the other end looks at that child and sees a PENIS and says this is a male (or whatever is the equivalent). Shocking news if the child comes out without a PENIS the person on the other end says this is a female (or whatever is the equivalent). Throughout time there have been Intersexed children born and birth defects. Nowadays the person on the other end says Uhm doctor (this is a simple version). 

Now for the shocker of the lesson, it is called Self-awareness. This is a key point where your lobby has FAILED. A child does not become self-aware of their body parts until the age range of 3-5 on average. Boys see something that dangles and think something to touch, girls don’t. Furthermore, this awareness does not come with a full cognitive understanding of those parts and what they mean until around the age of 7. So I am going to call a big Bull Shit on the issue that having a gender maker on the Birth Certificate at birth causes harm in this age group. 

Now let us look real hard at the age 7 it is about time that a child might start going to school. If that child is exhibiting issues linked with being Transgender or Nonconforming. Laws should be in place already that protect this child as we are in Australia, not the US. Your lobby knew all the above information. But instead of seeking for an update to existing laws about changing birth certificates in line with the International standard of the WPATH model. Your lobby thought it would be a great idea for a fight to remove the maker via a opt out. This will change nothing have you asked every parent who has or had a child with these issues if they would have chosen the opt out if there was one offered at birth? 

The next thing you did not look at because as with any lobby group your focus is on what you want and not always about the cold hard facts or what is right. Here is some simple points that you have either overlooked or just don’t care about.
1) Tasmania is the only state that would be doing this? So what about the requirements in other states that need this marker? Where is your answer to that?
2) On a Federal level, you have not addressed the impacts of such things as the Census and the costs as well as the overall impact of the change. 
3) You have also not addressed the issue of Military service and its requirements.
4) Passports, even though it is not on the item it is still being tracked. How many men to women get a passport?
5) Medicare & Centrelink, have you addressed those issues? 
6) Legal services, I know it might be shocking but the courts will want to know during “Issues” that may arise. Have you addressed those?
7) Medical, you have not addressed these issues unless it is about how a person feels. News flash, Batman, infant mortality is tracking Male and Female births worldwide. Then you have also not addressed such things as Birth defects that are also being tracked and compared with the gender markers and locations of birth. There is a large list of issues in the medical section.

Look I could really keep going with the lack of professionalism that you and your lobby group has done. But 1-7 is a great start, in the end, this rider has caused problems, That it cannot address or is unwilling to. You have had several hours to ask my concerns and address them in a very public forum. But instead, you have wasted my time and yours with your vile and petty attacks. What do you expect a reader to see when they read this post? Because if it is anything other than a lobbyist who’s selfcentered approach to a persons concerns. Is that of attacking them trying to bully them into submission. You have accomplished that. But it will take more than you to bully me. In fact, all you have done is cemented my thoughts not only on you but this legislation.

One more thing as free education goes. It costs nothing to be kind, but for every one person that you are unkind to seven more will be told or find out. This is a very old rule in retail with a bit of a twist for those in the public eye. I am going to share this, people are going to see it and read about it. Hopefully, they will dive deeper into the issues that I have raised. Maybe they will solve those questions that you could have done. Maybe they won’t, but they might see the costs outweigh the benefits that you are trying to create. For me, my choice is made and tonight you were the reason for it, it is not a positive one. Time will tell who is right or wrong and if this was your 30%, not the public’s.

Now look we all start as children. Every child who is Trans has the very same issue. But the end results are vastly different. This group could have done so many things differently. This rider should never have taken place. It should have had its own time to be addressed. The last question that I think is in my mind is, do the costs of this idea outweigh the results. In a nutshell yes. Because of one group’s little idea we are looking at millions of dollars to be spent for a few people who are saying “my feelings are being hurt because of when I was born this was on my Birth Certificate”. This group could have looked at adjusting laws that are already in place for changing a Brith Certificate. BTW a member of parliament clued into this and started that discussion. I think this is the wisest choice, as well as having the least amount of ripple effects.

The biggest error I have seen so far is the story in The Advocate newspaper. Then the issues of telling the public that we will like it in time. Never tell me what I am going to like, that is not your job. To be 100% honest I am sick and tired of Lobby groups who take the ear of our leaders and not listen to the public. I am also tired of seeing so much money being wasted because of these fools and their errands. Just think what could be done with the money that this change wants and has not been calculated. Why because they don’t know or they are really scared to tell you the public. That is where the real harm lies. I have heard it from people in the US who know what is going on in Tasmania, they don’t like it and ask why is my community doing this. I have also heard this from local friends. My answer is simple this is not my doing and I don’t feel it should be blamed on my community. Just because a small minority are making noise.

In closing let me say this. I respect every child who is going through what I did. I hope that their families are able to find peace love and acceptance for that child. I have seen it in a friend of mine with their child and it is beautiful. Though the future we are fighting for them should not come with a price tag that is hidden behind lies. It should also not be at a price tag that ignores the WPATH guidelines. Yes, it can be hard to deal with people getting our gender wrong, or our names, or our pronouns, or whatever. But we also cannot keep running around saying my feelings are hurt if we want respect and equal treatment. It is a big world out there and it is time some of us face the facts that there are going to be those who do not like us. There are going to be issues that do not work for us. News flash that is part of being an adult, no one ever said it was going to be easy or fair.

I have huge respect for PFLAG. I was up writing and reading when this came across my news feed from them. Link 

Needless to say, it pissed me off a bit. So I wrote a response, a little on the long side but someone needed to speak out.

“O.M…… What irresponsible rubbish did Transforming Tasmania spewed out of their spokesperson’s mouth. “No doctor can say whether you are or are not trans.” – WRONG period. There is a reason for the WPATH guidelines. They are in place not only to protect the Patient but the doctors as well. There are medical conditions that mimic Gender Dysphoria. Without proper care and diagnosis mistakes could happen. Some parts of Transition cannot be reversed. Counseling is 100% necessary we all carry baggage. Transition is not a walk in the park and one day you wake up and say holy (beep) it all makes sense lets get it chopped off or added on. 
“Trans people are who we say we are and we shouldn’t be having to prove that.” Yeah, I am sorry but you do need to prove it. Getting treated for the wrong health condition is like having your foot chopped off when all you had was a headache. The WPATH guidelines protect us in more than one way.
“The intent of this bill is to move away from language that medicalises being trans,” Why in the heck would you want to do this. It has taken years for the health professionals to get to a point where we are being Treated correctly. Moving away from medicalizing the Transgender condition in any form, will do no one any good. Then they change the story that being Trans is not a health issue but a myth. 
Next, it is this type of careless rhetoric that is placing us in harm’s way. The media and certain groups have spun this crap in a light that makes us look bad. Which by some right is True, we do look like morons when we push for changes in laws that should be governed at the Federal level. Then those laws also do not hold True to the intent of WPATH guidelines. Yes if a child is born Intersexed then a birth certificate should state that and not Male or Female. But to go blank or opt out is a statistical nightmare. There are conditions that are being tracked for birth defects when babies are born using the standard two markers. Take that out and have no plan to adjust for the overall change, chaos. Then you also have issues that some of these numbers and conditions are being tracked worldwide. 
Last and in close to my point if you want to allow people to see the Trans community in a more favorable light. We should have proposed a more simplified approach to changing the Birth Certificate for the Trans community. I think what Rosemary Armitage has proposed is on that level. We who are Transgender and are going through Transition already have two doctors stating this type of information. So why make a big stink about it.”

Thought I would post this here as well.

Being Trans is not easy, I love it when people tell me they admire and are encouraged by my story and life. The hard cold reality of being Trans is one that is Alone and sometimes Unemployed.

The Alone part I am dealing with that. Most of that is my fault. I was hurt so bad in the last relationship that I am still very scared about meeting people. But I keep trying yeah I don’t want to be single but then we add in the fear factor and I retreat back to my safe place. I even think that who would want this damaged package, so then I retreat back into my safe place.

Unemployment is a nightmare, to say the least. It is something many people don’t think about when they think about the Trans community. But it is a cold and hard reality. In some places like the US, Transwomen are forced to turn to prostitution (which is against the law in 49 states). They do this just to survive. It comes with HUGE risks factors and does not make for a fulfilled life.

But I live in Australia and things are different here thankfully. But I am still faced with the reality of being unemployed. I look at all the jobs I have applied for and all the knock backs I receive. I meet with a person who is to help me with finding a job twice a month. Who about a week ago wanted to introduce me to her boss. Who in less than 15 minutes told me that “my depression would get better when I got a job” then discounted what I had to say about finding a job as a Transwoman. I was so pissed steam was coming off of my head. In three years I have applied for over 300 jobs. So when people tell me it is not hard to find work I so want to copy and paste them my seek applied for a section of that account. I stopped collecting all the letters of rejection it was getting depressing.

I have ideas for a business but that also fell a bit flat. But that is okay I was dealing with my depression issue over the holidays and came to the point that I needed to dive back into writing. I also started to look at using Patreon to support my efforts.

My thoughts are to set up a Patreon site and link it to this blog. But as a benefit for those who are willing to support these efforts. I will make on the Patreon side a chapter per week as I write some of my books. Mind you I have 8 books that are not finished so there will be many different things to read. I would love your feedback on this idea and what you would be willing to contribute to the upkeep of the blog and be able to read my books as I write them.

Have a wonderful day.

Thank you

~Ally

As I have said in the past that I am working on a book with a few other people. This book is a Table Top Roleplaying game. Yup years of gaming passion now to be put to use. We are going to be entering the playtest Alpha 5.0 on Feb the 26th. Which I hope by the end of March will see us reach our goal of Beta Playtest 1.0. Which will see us into our Second quarter with our Kickstarter part of the project. We hope to see some funds to begin coming in for the Artwork, Layout, and Editors in the third quarter. The fourth Quarter we are hoping that everything will be ready for the copyright check. With the release of Blight in 2020.

I am not going to give you too many clues as to what Blight is all about until the start of the Kickstarter campaign. But we are still looking for local Launceston, Tasmania talent as we would like to bring new business to our wonderful city. So keep your eyes open on my page and I will let you know what we are doing.

I am so very excited about this. Have a wonderful day everyone.

Well as we all know without planning you are planning to fail.

Here I am planning out the surgery part of my Transition. That means,
1) Weight loss
2) Support Network
3) Money (The house will get sold this fucking year!)
4) Attorney & Will
5) Doctor Visits
6) Aftercare
7) Life moving forward
8) Travel (boat or plane) + Bobbie (a trusted friend who does not get grossed out)
9) Pre-teen watcher in case there is a timeline issue.

Shit, there is a lot to do…..

I watched this video this week and it was very helpful in answering a few simple questions that people might have as to what is going to take place.

Well, the weight loss is well underway there is a lot to lose. Sugar and Caffeine are out of the picture. But I am going to go see my doctor to talk over this plan.

Despite what some in my blood family might think (I was once told by a family member that I was a horrible parent who should not be one [sic]). I am a good parent that strives always to be a great parent. There are times when I don’t reach this level. But like today the sun will set and Tuesday will be a new day to strive towards my goals as a parent.

Why am I saying this? Well, it started so very simple. Three weeks into the new school year one of my children has lost her lunch box. ARGH!!!!!
It did not make for a very happy parent. So today she is using a bag for lunch, Grrrr. We had the last lunch box for 2 years and this was a treat for the child. I am hoping that they come home with it this afternoon. I won’t hold my breath.

Then in the car, someone said I hate school. Both my Ex and I work hard to stress to all our children how important school is and why we feel this way. My oldest (25) is working towards her masters (so proud). Now in saying that not every child is measured by her. They are however measured by what we feel they can achieve. I work very hard at supporting them in their goals in school. I am also proud of their victories, as well as work with them to overcome their defeats. I look at their events outside of school. There are times where they are not always happy with those but we look at where we started and where we are now. I show them that small failures are but a drop in the ocean of the success that they have built. I even use those words to keep in their minds the visual of an ocean of success.

Okay as I was leaving the school after dropping the youngest children off. I felt so proud of them and their efforts. Yeah, it was a lunch box that might be gone, I hope not because that one was $$. But, if it is might have to look at getting a new one (deep breath). After school, I will sit down with her and talk it out, this time looking at for resolution. Being this time she will need to work it off (chores). Why do this? Well, I am doing this to teach her about money once more. I never sugar coat money and the costs of things. If we cannot afford something I come right out and tell them.

Now as every parent knows this is the magic of parenting. Balancing the good with the bad. Scrapes and Bruises, we press on. Not every day will be good and not every day will be bad. But they are worth every second.

Yes! Yes! Yes! I did it……So what do I think about the adventure?

Well, a lot has changed and some changes are very exciting for me. Weight loss, Food Tastes better, Amount of food intake changed, Skin health changed, Urine changed, No longer feeling bloated, Thinking is clearer, The sense of smell has improved, Body odor has reduced, Sleep is better, Bad breath has gone, snoring has reduced, and the list goes on. But I am very happy with the results.

So, where to from here. Well, I am having a cheat day today. But starting tomorrow I am going to start another 30 days. But this time I am going to step it up again. I am going to forgo Caffeine, Fizzy Drinks, and Sugar that is not needed (candies & lollies). But this time I am going to cut out bread so bye bye pizza (yeah I know this is going to be hard, I love pizza). Just so you know for the most part I am not forcing this on to my kids. I am a firm believer that they have a right to a childhood. But I am reducing their intake of Sugars. But bread is still going to be in their diet due to school and sports that they are in.

I am not going to cut out rice and pasta. I am going to reduce the intake for me but not cut out. As the cut out of Caffeine and Sugar was a huge shock to my system. I was not fully ready for the impact of how I would respond to something that I used as a standard staple. So cutting out the Bread might have another shock to my system.

What or how did it affect my HRT (hormones). Well, I was pleased that it did nothing that I could directly be able to point out any changes. But as I write this I am reflecting on my emotional connection to everything around me. HRT has done some amazing things for me.

Did the 30-day challenge help with physical Trans health. Well, I am losing some weight and it is coming from my midsection (standard women’s waistline) and my thighs. This is nice and makes me feel like I would like to continue this challenge. No boob shrinkage, lol. I am also losing some fat in my face as well. I will know more when my new driver’s license arrives, lol. I hate photos!

In conclusion, DO IT! See what it does for you. Keep a journal on all of it and share it. You don’t have to share it all as I am keeping my weight and the loss to myself. Some things are private and when I reach my goal I will let everyone know what took place. Look it is only 30-days, one month of your life. What if you feel like I do right now? I am going to do it again…

Have a wonderful day ❤