Aleana's Journey

Well as we all know without planning you are planning to fail.

Here I am planning out the surgery part of my Transition. That means,
1) Weight loss
2) Support Network
3) Money (The house will get sold this fucking year!)
4) Attorney & Will
5) Doctor Visits
6) Aftercare
7) Life moving forward
8) Travel (boat or plane) + Bobbie (a trusted friend who does not get grossed out)
9) Pre-teen watcher in case there is a timeline issue.

Shit, there is a lot to do…..

I watched this video this week and it was very helpful in answering a few simple questions that people might have as to what is going to take place.

Well, the weight loss is well underway there is a lot to lose. Sugar and Caffeine are out of the picture. But I am going to go see my doctor to talk over this plan.

Despite what some in my blood family might think (I was once told by a family member that I was a horrible parent who should not be one [sic]). I am a good parent that strives always to be a great parent. There are times when I don’t reach this level. But like today the sun will set and Tuesday will be a new day to strive towards my goals as a parent.

Why am I saying this? Well, it started so very simple. Three weeks into the new school year one of my children has lost her lunch box. ARGH!!!!!
It did not make for a very happy parent. So today she is using a bag for lunch, Grrrr. We had the last lunch box for 2 years and this was a treat for the child. I am hoping that they come home with it this afternoon. I won’t hold my breath.

Then in the car, someone said I hate school. Both my Ex and I work hard to stress to all our children how important school is and why we feel this way. My oldest (25) is working towards her masters (so proud). Now in saying that not every child is measured by her. They are however measured by what we feel they can achieve. I work very hard at supporting them in their goals in school. I am also proud of their victories, as well as work with them to overcome their defeats. I look at their events outside of school. There are times where they are not always happy with those but we look at where we started and where we are now. I show them that small failures are but a drop in the ocean of the success that they have built. I even use those words to keep in their minds the visual of an ocean of success.

Okay as I was leaving the school after dropping the youngest children off. I felt so proud of them and their efforts. Yeah, it was a lunch box that might be gone, I hope not because that one was $$. But, if it is might have to look at getting a new one (deep breath). After school, I will sit down with her and talk it out, this time looking at for resolution. Being this time she will need to work it off (chores). Why do this? Well, I am doing this to teach her about money once more. I never sugar coat money and the costs of things. If we cannot afford something I come right out and tell them.

Now as every parent knows this is the magic of parenting. Balancing the good with the bad. Scrapes and Bruises, we press on. Not every day will be good and not every day will be bad. But they are worth every second.

Yes! Yes! Yes! I did it……So what do I think about the adventure?

Well, a lot has changed and some changes are very exciting for me. Weight loss, Food Tastes better, Amount of food intake changed, Skin health changed, Urine changed, No longer feeling bloated, Thinking is clearer, The sense of smell has improved, Body odor has reduced, Sleep is better, Bad breath has gone, snoring has reduced, and the list goes on. But I am very happy with the results.

So, where to from here. Well, I am having a cheat day today. But starting tomorrow I am going to start another 30 days. But this time I am going to step it up again. I am going to forgo Caffeine, Fizzy Drinks, and Sugar that is not needed (candies & lollies). But this time I am going to cut out bread so bye bye pizza (yeah I know this is going to be hard, I love pizza). Just so you know for the most part I am not forcing this on to my kids. I am a firm believer that they have a right to a childhood. But I am reducing their intake of Sugars. But bread is still going to be in their diet due to school and sports that they are in.

I am not going to cut out rice and pasta. I am going to reduce the intake for me but not cut out. As the cut out of Caffeine and Sugar was a huge shock to my system. I was not fully ready for the impact of how I would respond to something that I used as a standard staple. So cutting out the Bread might have another shock to my system.

What or how did it affect my HRT (hormones). Well, I was pleased that it did nothing that I could directly be able to point out any changes. But as I write this I am reflecting on my emotional connection to everything around me. HRT has done some amazing things for me.

Did the 30-day challenge help with physical Trans health. Well, I am losing some weight and it is coming from my midsection (standard women’s waistline) and my thighs. This is nice and makes me feel like I would like to continue this challenge. No boob shrinkage, lol. I am also losing some fat in my face as well. I will know more when my new driver’s license arrives, lol. I hate photos!

In conclusion, DO IT! See what it does for you. Keep a journal on all of it and share it. You don’t have to share it all as I am keeping my weight and the loss to myself. Some things are private and when I reach my goal I will let everyone know what took place. Look it is only 30-days, one month of your life. What if you feel like I do right now? I am going to do it again…

Have a wonderful day ❤

Well, gee it started on this blog in 2015 when the world started to come to what I would like to call the eventual end. If you did not know I am still married to someone to whom I do not wish to be. The events that lead to this are many and some do not shine kindly on that person. So, I will avoid bringing that into this post. I must say at one time I thought that we both loved each other. People change and with that comes the reality that you might not be in love with that person.

As I was saying, I was needing a way to express my ideas and a friend of mine suggested I start to write. I have always dreamed of writing, but being highly Dyslexic I shied away from the idea that anyone would want to read my posts. I expressed this to my long friend. She told me that I had always been a big risk taker why should I stop now. That is when I hit me I had stopped taking risks. Somewhere I allowed a person to neuter my personality. I was trying to write a book in 2007 but a person that I thought I could trust told me I was not a writer and that no one would ever read my stories.

We warn parents not to do this to there children. But little do people know that it has the very same effect on adults as well. I had a great start to a fiction piece and with the right backing, it could have become something special. But I listened to a voice that cut me very deep and I shelved it away and in time it was lost. When I wrote my first book I was so shocked that I did it. I did not know at the time it is not always going to be easy to write stories. I also did not know that you can dig too deep on stories and find Monsters hidden in peoples closets. I like writing non-fiction, the reality of life is more than a connection to others. It is a magical thread that binds to all of us. We find that with real stories it is harder to hate the person behind the face when we know it.

I was finding also when I wrote on something I was releasing a pressure that was building up inside of me. A magical connection that at this time I am still short for words on how it makes me feel to do it. But like an addiction, it is something that needs to be done. I enjoy it I love the power and the magic of every word. So that is why I write….

Have a wonderful day and do something magical.

Well, so far so good. I am almost done with the 30-day challenge. Thinking of seeing how long I can go. I know I have a goal but even after I reach that goal how long can I continue it. Now to be 100%, I have only cut out Coke, Caffeine, Lollies (candy) and adding sugar to cereal. I am thinking of expanding it to cutting back on food products that have sugar added into it that does not need it. Pizza can never be messed with.

Though I will say this though that the Mint water will continue. At first, it was to just help me stop hating the fact I was having cramps. But then those went away with the mint water. I also must say that my very bad breath is now gone. I am not sure why that stayed but now that it is gone I am very happy. I have also noticed that my teeth are cleaner than before. Energy levels, for the most part, are returning to a normal state. So how do I feel about this? Well at this time I am leaning more towards the ideas that I was having to much sugar. With only ten days left to make my first goal. I am excited.

Well, have a good day.

Well, I really did not think I could make it this far. There is a simple reason for that. Christmas sparked a huge pile of stress in my life. I was not ready for that at all. It blew my budget and wiped out my savings at the same time. I am still trying to bounce back from it.

But on the flip side, I am very happy to be at 15 days. Mint water has been my saving grace. That week without it proved to me how much it does help. I got some on shopping this week and it is working again. Phew, those cramps were enough to wreck me. Someone asked me if I would continue it once I reach 30 days. To be honest 30 days was not the reason to start this. My health was and I have a set of requirements that must be met before I will enjoy a Cold Coke with Ice. But if that takes a year then I will do it. I will do what I need to do to meet these goals.

Even my ex’s know that when my mind is locked onto a goal nothing will stop me from reaching it. It used to drive one of them nuts. Sorry “J” but that is the best part about my driving force. So I will reach those goals come hell or high waters. Though this is a very dry year for Tassie. Don’t think that I have to worry about High Waters, lol.

Changing my eating habits as well. Snacks are all out as well. I did check my weight at 1 week and that looks fine but I will check it tonight again. So I will keep my fingers crossed and not get my hopes up to high.

Well have a wonderful day, I am as I drink mint water.

Wow, I am doing this!

Still having a few headaches and need to get some mint tea. But bills all come before the battle of calming my tummy. Ah, the life of being a single parent who pays for all the kids schooling.

Though I will say I am losing some weight but that is something I am keeping to myself on just how much. I am also very happy to say that sleep is getting better, a lot better. The dreams are also getting better as I am not being woke up due to nightmares. I know that there might not be a link but it is something that is a bit strange. It might also be that I am sleeping better than the nightmares are not present. But I could be reaching on that. But I really don’t care, I am getting sleep.

I am also noticing that I am not needing allergy meds as much. This I have read about that as you cut out the sugar. Your body needs time to adjust to the new reality and as a benefit, it can fight or better handle other issues. I also know that when the weight drops off I will be needing fewer asthma meds. I am also hoping that my issues with depression will also get better as my self-image issues will be improving. Though I know some of that is coming to terms with all the abuse that I have gone through over the last 15 years. I just had a wonderful email with Kim (wink) where I was able to pinpoint a few things I need to address. Kim, I don’t know if you know but I am very thankful for your friendship. I owe a lot of things to this blog and making a number of things right from the past have been one of them.

Though I would give a million thanks if someone could find Ann li Pholar in California and say “Hi” from the voice of the past.

On a different note, I have been using Grammarly and I am seeing an increase in the quality of my error checking that things are improving. Though due to my Dyslexia, I still don’t grasp the rules of Grammar and it is kind of frustrating. I hope in time by using this it will teach me the correct use. There are times that I feel like banging my head on the keyboard due to all the errors.

Well, I wish everyone all the best today.

~Ally