Sexual Abuse – Time to think

I am going to share something that I found very interesting and it is about sexual abuse. This topic comes for an article from Exploring your Mind website with the link here. Now before people race off to start claiming that they have been abused we should look very carefully at the context of law and how it pertains to the issue. Even in the western worlds free countries some of these issues are not crimes. Then there are those who do use and sell sexual intercourse freely and within legal guidelines. We must not assume the judeo-christian values to everything we might find distasteful. Nor should we assume that something on the lines of self-harm is a crime as much as it is a cry for help at the self-harm is linked to. I am not saying that I disagree with the statements that are listed from this article, but we must look at the context. There is also a difference that needs to be seen in this that is not addressed. Sexual Assault which is a crime, but it depends on where you live and how it is defined.

Now I am going to quote the article with a part that I thought was something people should think about and see if it does enter their lives. I should not have to say this but I know some of my readers need to hear it. DON’T JUDGE WHAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND! If there is anything in this list that you do not understand take the time and learn about it. Learn what the full impact of the issue is. I am not saying that you have to agree (as some of the issues here are very serious). But you need to think and learn.

Nine types of sexual abuse

Sexual abuse is an act that can affect a person’s sexual and affectional development. Félix López states that there are nine [types – sic] of sexual abuse:

  • Self-harm or any type of bodily harm to intimate areas. For example, genital mutilation or binding breasts so they don’t grow, etc.
  • Sexual abuse. Abusers tend to be older than their victims. They’re usually in power positions and manipulate their victims.
  • Sexual exploitation. Any kind of commercial sexual transaction.
  • Pornography. Including producing, selling, and buying someone’s sexual content with or without their consent.
  • Child marriage. These engagements are made by adults. The victims are often female.
  • Not accepting sexual identity. For example, not recognizing transexual or transgender people. Many suffer from this and it negatively affects their life.
  • Not accepting sexual orientation. For example, not accepting homosexuality or bisexuality. This means not respecting a person’s sexual and affectional needs.
  • Gender violence, domestic violence, intrafamily violence, and inegalitarian education. Gender violence and intrafamily violence affect socialization. Discriminatory education makes it difficult for people to fully develop their affection and sexuality.
  • Sexual negligence. Living in a sexually violent society, not accepting that people with disabilities have sexual needs, and not providing a good sexual education at home or at school.

Sexual abuse in some context is a crime and if it becomes a concern then it should be reported to the proper authorities. This will allow them to investigate the concern. I once again stand firm that there is NO excuse for abuse. Last but not least I am linking to phone numbers in Australia should you need some help.

The only way out of Ignorance is through EDUCATION! Don’t use a belief structure to avoid understanding.

Chronic Pain

Life has not always been the best for me. Some of it I did to myself and others were just bad luck. Case in point when I was about 10 years old I woke up one night in the worst pain that I had ever felt in my life. For the last 41 years it has not stopped. I have only just learned to deal with the pain from it. I have seen a boat load of doctors and always been told it was just Growing pains or Chronic Pain but I was told once I was making it up. 2020 has been the worst year of my life in managing this pain and due to the lock down I was not able to visit my doctor.

This changed when our lockdown ended and the virus was gone (Thank you Tassie!). I was able to make an appointment so that I could seen. This wonderful man has me running through hoops just to figure out what is going on. If you know much about me I am not really one for letting things rest when I need to know what is going on. I have now been told that I have Arthritis and not the fun one at that (like there one that is). New meds to try to slow the progression and pain levels. While this might seem like a good thing I do not like taking drugs to mask the pain. My mum died of liver issues that turned into cancer. I worry about having the same problem so I try to avoid the unnecessary pain meds. I wish the government would hurry up and make cannabis legal here in Australia.

Though the good news is that I am leaning towards the idea that I might have Fibromyalgia which is also something my doctor is feeling that will be the end diagnosis. What does that mean well in simple terms Chronic pain with no mitigating factors. Which mean that my pain is not linked to broken bones or other fun junk like that. Sad thing is that where is once was just my knees the pain has begun to show up in my left shoulder and in my toes. At this point I really feel like my body hates me and always have. Add that on to being Transgender and Dyslexic I am turning into a doctor’s dream money bag, lol (Does this hurt….poke).

The rise of Hate

Of course Disney brought a life-sized TIE Fighter to Austin, Texas - The  Verge

Sure it sounds like a new Starwars movie, if only one that made logical sense. Opps, side tracked into dreams of a well written plot…. But the truth be told if we look at the really scary facts that there is a dark and horrific power that has been rising and it is one that has to be taught. We don’t need to question its existence as it is all around us and at every corner. It is teaming with some of the greatest teachers that the world has ever seen. Emboldened but the mass media that is also a teacher of children when parents refuse to allow the innocence of a child to foster into a well groomed adult. Who then the parents wonder why there are such horrific children. We only need to look inward to find the persons to blame.

While you might think that I am blowing this out of proportion and creating out of nothing. But if you did then you are blind to what is going on in the world today. Right now we are seeing in all of the developed countries of the world laws that are being passed to make it a crime to complain. To make a stand in be heard in mass gatherings. Right now in the US there are police who are killing unarmed citizens and the people are saying WTF! But when they do they are met with Police attacking them for the desire to hold the police accountable for their actions. We also see courts refusing to hold them accountable for their actions.
We can also see that we are voting in monsters in powerful positions. Who at every turn restrict true freedom of any group that is not like them or stands in the way of their narcissistic natures. Which are only fed by their insatiable greed. Yet we still wonder why our children mimic the very actions we are repulsed by. We even have seen the rise of the internet keyboard monster that is more than happy to expel their vile hate at every chance. But are surprised when they are confronted by their actions. We have seen it in religious leaders who have ignored their idolized leader who once wrote about peace and kindness. Their congregations like their leaders perpetuate this hate at every turn installing it into the angelic innocence of their children without remorse for their actions.

Yet we soften the terms of calling out this hate by using soft words like Homophobic, Transphobic, TERF, Confused, Mislead, and even Dislike. Why do we do this? We do this to avoid hurting their feelings and being considerate and compassionate towards them. Even though they refuse to do the same for each person that they direct their hatred towards.

No Nazis swastika | Campaign!

How do we combat this dark presence? That has continued to grow in the light were it once only festered in the darkness. We stop allowing the use of the soft words or phrases. We return to the Truth behind the powerful words in our languages use of such words like Bigot, Zealot, Racist, Extremist, Abuser, and even Fanatic. We stop referring to the usage of examples such as calling a person a Nazi or the equivalent of Hitler. As those have been used to a point where the ownership is part of what has empowered the darkness of hate and those who wield it.

Wonder Woman silhouette - Wonder Woman Silhouette - Posters and Art Prints  | TeePublic

We call it out at every turn by using such power filled words. As by doing so the person to whom we direct it at must make a justification for their very actions. When that person attempts to sidestep the label we reenforce the usage of the term we used in the first place by suggesting that they review the term we have called them. Then we walk away no continuing the engagement with this person as the last words said must remain the most powerful and impactful above all others. We must continue with demanding education be fair and equal for all. Not allowing the leaders who have sided with hate. We must also stop making excuses for those who are filled with hate. We must stop voting in the lesser of two evils and demand a return to the age of heroes who have lifted rather than tearing down to lift themselves. We must vote with our heart in hopes that we can find a leader to whom will fill that role and execute it with honesty and compassion. Until we start and stay ever focused we will continue to chase to repair the damage that the powers of Hate have caused. We need to rise and be the heroes that we desire to find at every turn hoping that they will lead us into a better future.

The Heroes that you are looking for is the one staring at you in the mirror.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder - Why It Happens - Exploring your mind
NOW DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

What an Amazing video

I know the JKR thing is getting old that it seems we cannot get away from it that is is almost everywhere. If you are wondering why it is so controversial please take the time and lets put a nail in the coffin with this final and last time I really want to write about it. Take some time and enjoy this video. It is very well done and addresses JKR and all of her points.

It is time to think

As a writer and a published author I know just how difficult it is to get a book published and sold. There are so many different hoops that you have to jump through that it is scary at times. We all think that it is simple (at least I did at one point) write a story and send it away and people would buy my book. Ohhh I was so wrong on so many levels. There are ways to get your book seen and then there are ways to get you book seen as people must read why there is so much noise about it.

Psycho (1960) | Horror Film Wiki | Fandom

Recently there have been a huge amount of fuss and noise about a book and a writer who made a book that the major character was over done and written to death. The book was a copy of Psycho the film from 1960 with Anthony Perkins. The new book was not a direct copy of Psycho but it is enough that it is NOTHING new. We have seen this happen time and time again with movies and other books.

It was an amazing story created by the master of horror himself Alfred Hitchcock. In so much that I dare say that it is a film icon. Over the years we have seen remakes and copies of the plot such as The Silence of the Lambs. Which in it own right is an amazing film but the plot is still nothing new and was enough of a difference that it was not plagiarizing Mr. Hitchcock.

I bet you are wondering where I am going with this thought. When some authors write a book under a different name it is to hide and protect their other works. Recently we saw an author write a COPY of the idea of Psycho. The author was so scared of the issue of this book failing that they first wrote it under a Ghost name. In an attempt to hide that they wrote it as to not link it to their other works in case it failed. But then what they did was to attack a community that is depicted in the book by using stereotypes that are linked to this community. This is nothing new as well it used to be the media would demonize the black communities in this fashion. It only slowed down because the the voices who stood up against it became so loud. Though this time it was done is such a way to promote this horrid book that the community it attacked spoke up to say this is not right. But instead of it fighting a depiction of an stereotype it added fuel to the fire and people went out and bought it to see why.

The author was so pleased with the why the media circus was working for them that they added more and more fuel to the fire. Which enraged the community that it used in the first place. The author and the book has eroded the joy of the authors first works that were about inclusion and tolerance. It also shed a light on the author as a money grabber and a bigot for there media releases and the book that followed.

Why am I writing about this and what is the book? Well, I am not going to give light to the book or its author. But the reason I am writing about it is very simple. The information age (which we are in right now) can be used against us on so many levels because we have chosen to give power to negative advertising which drags down the collective morals of society. The Transcommunity ended up in a verbal war with someone who has more money and power that we gave them. I must say the more we say their name or read any of their books or even see any of their movies we add to their power. In the end this book that was written under a ghost name that would have died because it was a shit book. Now sits are the top of the New York best seller list. I know it is killing you to figure out what it is or even who wrote it. But avoid this temptation as all costs as you are being used. The Transgender community needs to learn that we should not allow ourselves to be dragged into such battles that only empower the monsters of society.

There is a story we should all learn from when faced with hate and I will butcher it if I try to we tell it in my own words. So just watch this simple video and learn about how we should have reacted from this author and the hate that they enjoy pointing at the Transgender community.

How can we learn from this? It is very simple it is to not allow others to have the power of hate that controls us to react in a negative way. We should have just ignored this bigotry that was coming from this person and the book would have failed as it should have. We created the burden that is now harder to get rid of compared to the easy burden of just ignoring the hate. Try this in your life when someone hates you. It may not change the way they are acting towards you but it will allow you to rise above their hate.

This is something to think about…. Take good care of you.

I shared this on my FB. But I love it so much I think more should have a chance at reading it. When I was younger I struggled with my view of self. I could not enjoy who I saw in the mirror and it only got worse as the years moved on.

Image may contain: text that says 'You can rest now. You're exhausted. You've You tried to protect me for way too long. I'll handle the stress of it now. It's going to require a lot of bravery. To just try and live my life, and hope that everyone sees that I'm not some dangerous, bad person. I got this'

When I made the choice to step out of the shadows I lost so many people that I once counted as friends and loved ones. I was really shocked about the response to my honesty about “ME”. It had no bearing on anyone other than me and my children. So many others wanted it to be about them. Some even told lies about me. I was still the same person that helped others when they asked for it. I was still the same person who opened my home to feed others. There was nothing really new except that I look different. It was really sad to have that happen.
My heart was really broken when someone that I helped so much started to attack me publicly. I was so hurt I could not see a rhyme or reason for their attack other than they were always filled with hate for others who were different than him. The sad thing was his children are severely disabled. I wonder if his hate for what happened to them was just directed towards me.

I hear these same stories over and over again. So many in my community are angry with all the constant attacks that we have to defend ourselves from. Can you blame a community for being angry when so much hate is directed towards them (i.e. The black community). I am concerned that the truth about being Transgender is being lost in the defense of who we are. We are becoming outwardly angry about the constant attacks from the bigots.

There is so much beauty in a person who knows who they are inside and outside. It matters when you understand your true self. I only wish so many others in and out of my community could find that sense of peace. It matters in life to be at peace with your view of “Self”

Lets make something clear

In the information age where every person has to opportunity to rise above their station in life. We also tend to be keyboard warriors. I am solidly shocked that I have been called a name. Even so shocked that I was called this that I questioned the persons age. Maybe not my best reply… “What are you 10”

So lets look at what I was called, truscum. Which is a derogatory term for a person who supports the validity of the need for the medical involvement in being diagnosed as Transgender vs. self-identity. Confused yet? I had to look this up…

Truscum also known as transmedicalists are a commonly misunderstood community on Tumblr. They follow the medical definition of transsexualism i.e that it’s a medical condition and that you need sex dysphoria to be trans.

So setting the record strait there is a HUGE damn difference between receiving a diagnosis and self-identifying. Which also means we should treat these individuals differently as well. When children say “I am Batman or Wonder woman” it does not make them so. But we allow that child to explore their dreams and fantasy in those ideas. So should be the same with those who self-identify. But we should advise for them to see a professional for their future health. There are huge risks in self-identifying as foolishly many of those feel that they can also be their own doctor and seek to use medicines without those supports in place. placing their health at great risk.

There are also mental health issues that mimic Gender Dysphoria and Gender Incongruity. Now for those who don’t know that there is a trend that is gaining support among professionals. With the use of Gender Incongruity for those who are not showing signs of Gender Dysphoria. But they are identifying as Transgender. So meaning you can have Gender Incongruity with or with out Gender Dysphoria.

Next we need to look at calling people names. It is very Juvenal to begin with and is also a way to divide and conquer a community from within. Yes there are those of us who support the medical diagnosis as a requirement for being Transgender. We also understand that not everyone can afford to see a healthcare professional and self-identifying is a reality of the modern age. But I reiterate that self medicating is NOT SAFE and should be avoided at all costs. We are talking about your physical health.

Furthermore, if you self identify you should look into seeing a mental health professional. This is one of the base requirements of medical transition should you chose that in your future. As well as helping you face the challenges of being Transgender. Understand that being Transgender is NOT a fashion statement and will change your life in many ways that you cannot prepare for. I wish you all the best in your journey but lets avoid applying stupid names that divide our community.

It’s my birthday…

What a wonderful day of kind friends wishing me well. It does fill my heart with happiness. Though in saying that there were a few friends who were concerned that I was having my birthday dinner alone. There are a lot of things people don’t understand about me, So I am going to explain a few things.

I am okay with how my life is going right now. It may not be perfect and I am in a large amount of pain 24/7. But I have my children that make life all worth it. I am scared of losing my ability to walk as I can see that in the near future. But I am at peace with it still. I am working with my medical team to work out a path for a bright future. I cannot say enough for all their efforts.

Now as to being alone I am asexual. What that means is I am not really clued into romantic relationships and sex just is not that big of a thing for me. But there is also an underlying issue that is part of the reason I am also alone. What happened to me in my last relationship has scarred me and it will take someone amazing and with a large heart to make me trust someone like that again.

Though in saying the above I love my children and pour all of my emotional energy into making sure that they know that they are cared for on so many different levels. That is enough at this moment in time.

Once again thank you for all the birthday wishes.

I love where I live

What many might not know is I live in a small piece of heaven. This is in more ways than one. The magic is in the people of this wonderful place where things happen a bit slower than others. The magic is in its people as well. Launceston Tasmania, Australia.

Something happened today in my travels. What many might not know is I appear to be losing my ability to walk. I get about a 1 km worth of pain free walking. But I refuse to allow this monster rob me of life and so I push that small distance as much as I can. But yesterday I went way to far over my limit. It really started to show when I was doing my shopping. I knew I should be using the online service but I love to choose the food I buy. I don’t trust my veggies being chosen by someone else as I have high standards (FRESH!).

But as I was saying I love this place. Someone who knows me more than I know them saw me struggling ton walk and stand offered me a ride home with my shopping. I was in no place to say no as I was about to collapse due to the pain that has set in. This wonderful person took the time and drove me home then brought in my shopping. They even told me to go inside as they did all the work bring in my shopping. As a kindness I gave them a copy of my latest book as a thank you. Though all he said was that he was paying it forward.

What the person did not know was that my heart was breaking as I knew the rest of my day was going to hell. I hide this level of heartbreak from my children as I don’t want to be “That parent”. As the night was closing in the pain levels became a monster in so much that all the pain meds could not hide or solve. I even got to the point laying in bed and the shaking began due to the level of pain. My reality began to sink in as I might have to look at going back to the doctor and talking it over again.

The magic of the kindness of the person who gave me a lift home was one of the best things for the day. Had he not been there I think my day would have been worse. I am going to try to force myself to go on a diet and might even look at reducing my weight by cutting back on a number of things that I enjoy (a tall glass of coke with ice).

I have even been told that I need to look at moving to a move friendly to those with a disability living arrangement. But I love my view from my front window and that is something that many places that are like that don’t have. but I am thinking that they might be right as I am very concerned about my future if not scared.