TodayI was talking with someone who felt I was angry over something. So I did what I normally do I checked my 6. I talked to a good friend “myself” then I talked to another good friend “she knows who she is”. So after checking my 6, here is my complete and wonderful answer (***warning*** I have an answer for everything, i don’t promise you will like it).
Angry: In a round about way, i am. I aloud myself to be fooled, robbed and ridiculed. Time was wasted on foolish ideals and I listen to the wrong people for a long time.
Blessed: I am so blessed, I expressed the truest nature of my blessings on October the 31st in a room filled with my closest friends who could make it. In the last 6 months I have seen some amazing acts of kindness from those who did not have to. In the last six months I have been filled with the love of going back to church and being with some of those loved ones. In the last six months I have reconnected with some friends who for one reason or another were placed on the back burner for reasons left to die. In the last six months I have learned that there is a god and my prayers are heard and answered. I have reconnected with two of my older three children and I am blessed every time I talk to them. I have a wonderful legal team! Thanks Grant Tucker! I talk to my oldest Nephew, who is a Hero in my eyes. All of my children are safe (all 7). My three youngest live with me in our home safe and sound.
Sadness: I read with horror that my good friend lost his wife. A profound sadness washed over me, then it was replaced by a wonderful happiness that she was my friend and cared for my family. A read an new story that the church supported did something I have not supported and it saddens me to think of those who will be affected. My marriage ended in a horrific way, best to let that reason die as well.
Confusion: After 13 years of a choice I am learning once again how to be me. I am learning that I can love myself even though I am a Trans (gosh that is cool when you say it) that I am a Transwoman that is beautiful when said. Do I know all about being a woman? nope do I know what it is like to be a woman? Nope. Do I iknow what it is like to be a man? Nope. Simple I am Trans each day is my day something new to enjoy and learn about.
Happy: My three youngest live with me in our home safe and sound. Our home is filled with love. Our home is beautiful. My parents are doing the best they can and are alive. My parents saw the truth over lies and have once again rebuilt what was an attempt to destroy. I have great friends who care for me and my children. My great friends don’t care I am Trans. My oldest son is thinking of visiting me soon! 5 out of 7 of my children don’t care I am Trans. I can hold my head high and say I did a good job taking care of someone who did not care. I am alive, I am free, I am a hero to my children, I am Trans, I am walking in a country that cares for me, I AM………
Relieved: A plot failed, a judge saw the truth, a police officer believed, my three youngest children reside in our home, I can cook for friends, I can smile at the darkness is gone.
Transition: Its going well.
All in all I have checked my 6. I think I am doing very well. To me I am a well rounded human being. Filled with more blessings then I can write. Enjoying a lot of what life has to offer, FREEDOM. I wake everyday looking breathing learning loving in short I am one happy mother (insert bad language here and smile). I am so blessed! Beat that you doom seekers, you can’t cause it is MINE all Mine.
I love you guys, have one hell of a great day!