Thoughts to the LDS Church leaders

Today I reviewed what has been going on since the 6th of November with the Church that I grew up in. I placed in my last post on a page that had also seen a lot of people who are struggling as well with what had been done.

“Then Explain me then? Where does this policy leave me? I’m not gay, I’m trans i sit in the middle of something that is nothing but chaos. I can’t marry a man cause I was born a man, right? I can’t marry a woman cause I am a woman. Whats going on???
I feel for those who are intersexed…. What Chaos that is with the church in mind… Born with both, well yours gender was assigned at birth (um no it was not)?
This policy is confusing to say the least….”

On both sides of the policy we are to live with out the love of another……

I feel something is at a loss here. There once was a story about “they came for ??? and I did nothing” Think of it this way.

First they spoke against Sex before marriage
So I obeyed….
Then they said blacks could not have the priesthood or go to the Temple
I was not black, so I obeyed….
Then blacks were equal as the rest, I rejoiced….
Then they said being gay was a sin…..
I was not gay, so i obeyed…..
Then they said it was not a sin to be gay, just to act upon it
I was not gay, so i obeyed….
Today they say children of the gay are not equal as the strait. That they should not have the same rights as children from strait families. That this is to protect them….
I am a parent, my children are not gay, I am not gay. I am trans you have not addressed this, but now I fear the day that you will.

Dear earthly men,

I followed you from the day I was baptized. I defended the choices that you said were made with council of god. I questioned then but stood by your choices that in time it would all make sense. On November the 6th 2015, I stopped…….

I feel that you have taken a path that no longer protects the children that our father has placed in your care by the creation of this policy. You have placed Murder above a person who loves another of the same gender. You have placed a policy that Bullies the children of these parents. You have placed the actions of Gay marriage as a greater sin then those of a Murderer. To me you have set a course that has provided extremists to Justify their actions in destroying the hearts of the children.

I fear for the lives of the children that will take there own lives because of the extremists. How will your policy be defended with the bloody of children on your hands. Yes, you did not do it yourself but you gave the extremist a tool that will be used to do so. Your policy has also placed a minority who is not Gay, who did not have a choice but were given both genders. At your horrific policy because someone Will use it against them. You have given bullies the right to abuse children of these unions power.

Think, pray before it is to late and your hands are awash with the blood of the children….. All Children are equal in the eyes of God.

This will be the last I will say of this because it is now in your hands to right the wrong…….


All My Hope is in God…..

My dear readers,

Well keeping my word I have listened and now I am faced with a huge amount of questions, some that will define the future that the church plays in the role of my Family. From that choice i will need to make sure that at the time when I stand before my maker that I can hold my head held high and be proud of who i am. Though I don’t feel that I will be standing alone in the area of needing to make this choice.

As I have stated before I am a Transwoman, I have been all my life. I am Educated, I am well versed in the standard works. I have a Testimony about what I have seen and what I have read.

I have made a promise that I must keep but it does place me in a hard choice and an even  harder place to defend a church which has loved me for who I am. I am very thankful for what has happened in my life. I am very thankful for the blessings of the last 6 months.

I was asked today in an LDS facebook group….

“What decision is there, Aleana Robins? Why in the world would you ever stay connected at all? If you stay you’re sending a message to your kids that says you allow people to kick you in the head.”

This was my reply…..

I don’t tell it often so please read with care and understanding. I had just married my wife in the Temple and moved everything I had to Australia, based on answers from prayers. No more than 1 and 1/2 months in Australia I was bitten by a White point spider. Within 24 hours I was dying my blood was turned to brown muck and I was told that they were going to have to cut me open to save my life though there was a 50/50 chance I was going to die. Then if I did live I had a 75% of losing my left arm.
I laid there dying and saying a prayer “dear father in heaven I am not ready to die please save me” It was short and simple. No sooner than I ended my prayer I told my wife they must get me a blessing before I will be cut open. Within minutes and no one calling them these two elders One from Idaho elder Steele and another from NZ elder Terikie. Walked in to the hospital. I saw something that to this day I will never doubt I will never recant I saw someone standing behind these youngmen guiding them to my bedside. I felt a overwhelming peace fill the room that I was in and I was at peace. I woke hours later tubes hanging off of me in all directions. 4 fans blowing on me to keep my temperature at 40. I could feel that my left hip was wet but was not able to move. A nurse came in and greeted me and took the pillow from under my left arm that had tubes draining the poison from my body.It was soaked. I healed and got to talk to the two elders and asked them who told them I was dying. With strait faces they said “no one, we felt like we had to come here (fifth floor at the other end of a hospital).We talked and when we were done I knew they were telling the truth. This is why….. This is only part of why I am who I am and why I know…….My children live with me after we left an abusive marriage. We made it out thanks to a strange event one night. But I will not talk ill of the other party. We got to a safe house, then to a house where we live now. The court protected the children and I. I am a Transwoman who my 3 children live with me, do the odds. It does not happen often. This is why…….
My faith is in God, my Faith is in what Joseph Smith did and built. My faith is in the BOM and the Bible. Men are flawed, they error. But I forgive I look past those flaws I find what is true, I grab it hold it care for it. I thank him for all I have. That is why….
I am no ones fool, I know what I saw. That is why…….
Until something better comes I will stay. I don’t have the ability to go to the Temple, i’m trans. I don’t have the ability to hold any callings, I’m trans. I’m not a member, i’m trans. My children are not me. They need to learn for themselves what is true and what is not and they can only make that choice and no matter what I will support them. We have to start somewhere.

I am putting this out there for others to see only because it is part of me. I’m not here to pass judgement for you. You must make your own choice.

My beliefs are challenged today?

In the past I have refused to enter into conversations about my beliefs. But in the last 24 hours something came to light that causes concern within the LDS community and those with children, loved ones or friends who are LGBTI.

Well I grasp why and what was done. Though it fly’s in the face of many and I do mean many of previous of core doctrine. Some that we have been since the start of the church. Some that have been since to time of Christ.

AOF 2 is clearly being broke by punishment being placed on the children for something that they did not choose ( We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.). Then this punishment extends in to adulthood if they do not denounce the parents. That flys in the face of the return of Ezekiel and what he had done in the Temple, how are the hearts of the children supposed to be turned toward their parents if what is said is in place.

We then must look at the issue that the children are in the grace of God. Grace meaning under his protection until the age of eight were we are commanded to have them Baptized. From my understanding that if you do not do so then what is done by that child after eight until adulthood is on your head (sin wise). This might be wrong but it is what I have understood.

I have yet to hear the Church speak on this as far as a senior member of the 12 or the Prophet himself. I find it strange that it was released in such a way that begs me to reflect on the merits of its validity. That said I have yet to hear the Church denounce it as well. Normally what is in this book has been seen by Bishopric and above never have I seen those pages released to the general public.

So where does this leave my children? To answer that I really don’t know i’m not Gay, I’m trans. Does this make a moral issue for the Church or what? I’m a transwoman does this doctrine mean that I will have to marry a man for my children to be Baptized? Does this mean that since I once was born a man I have to marry a woman? Or does this mean that I have to be single for the rest of my life never feeling the light of love in my life? What? Cause you have made a ruling that I feel is earthly based not based from the mouth of the Prophet who speaks for the lord himself. If this is even a true doctrine. With in fact it does not present itself as doctrine more as punishment. Which from what we are lead to believe in recent times that church courts are to be used and viewed with the love of Christ in mind helping those to return to a sin free choice.

This issues if it is true does not address two groups in the LGBTI community those who are in the T and I groups. We mostly do not address ourselves as LG or B unless forced into such areas as most of us have enough issues. We are however loved by the LGB community who have learned the love of Christ that being to love one another. Which is not shown is this paper.

I would like to point out that holding my tongue is something I will remain to do but I felt the need to address as my life is not rocky enough. Though I stress until we hear from the mouth of the Prophet we must take this release with a grain of salt as it has the look to be more of a leak than a announcement from the Church on official letterhead or on the website.

“All my hope in God”

My quote…..

I see a lot of people posting that …..

Time Heals All Wounds

Lets be honest it does not heal 99% unless you forget the reason you have the wound. Here is my truth to that quote.

Time does not heal all wounds, Time lessens the pain. 

It is only the fool who thinks that forgiving and forgetting the wound is one and the same. I find that it is ok to forgive the person who caused the wound. But forgetting just places you at risk of it happening again. Learn from the errors of life, for you future to be rich.

Spare a minute

Today, I lost a very dear friend. She was the love of her husbands life, my good friend Al. Both of these wonderful people touched my life in such a way that I can never repay the friendship I have with the both of them. The first time I met Rickie was after I had been in Australia and did not have many friends. I met her Husband Al first and felt like we were going to be friends for a very long time. I have never regretted the two of them in my life. I will not explain everything to you about how wonderful these two are. I will only tell you that once you meet a person that touches you very soul with a heart warming friendship you would do anything for them. God Bless you Rickie you will be missed, I promise you that I will remain the thorn in Al’s side I will be here for him. I try to drag him out when he does not want to, I will visit him when he does not expect it, I will honor my friendship with the two of you until we all meet again. Rest in peace my wonderful friend, the children and I will miss you.

P.S. I will never forget the educational lessons on Australian wildlife, even when they are peeing on my floors……(there is a smile here) Don’t ever forget to tell the person how much they mean to you..