Minor bump

So here I am riding this roller coaster of divorce. I felt that I have been doing very well. I refuse to play the games with the children’s emotions and how they view the other parent. I just wish the other parent would learn the same…. Bump….

Well Niamh has had one hell of a Birthday party we invited 20+ girls to it and about 14 of them showed up. Not a bad turn out she was over the moon. The Cake was a huge hit!

Gabriel and Hezekiah were great helpers in the fact that they let her have this day and helped make it one she will never forget. I am so proud of the Boys. 12 bags of candy went in the pinata, it was so fun watching the girls beat that senseless. Lollies  were everywhere.

We ended the weekend with a fun bike ride in the park had a few lessons on not comparing one person to another as each person is special in there own right.

Working on this lesson…

“The following incident took place when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were not modest. Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:

When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them.”

He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.” Source: Taken from the book: More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali’s Life Lessons Through His Daughter’s Eyes.”

Why you might ask “well why teach that?” that is a story for another time and day when life has calmed down a bit.

Moral compass when not taught might lead to unexpected results.

Had a chat with Someone

Here it comes……

Today I had a chat with someone whom I respect so much and is in my books very cool indeed. As well as a pleasure to call him a friend, If HE is reading this he knows it is him.

So once again I am learning more about Transition from others than from looking at it myself. Today my Friend was asking how things were going and if I have had to “work” down there done. Wow he was so brave to ask, you could tell he was a bit nervous (yes you were). This post is for him and others who are learning about Transition from Male to Female.

Lets start by saying those of us who walk this path it is not an easy one by any means. There are several steps one has to take before the end result. One of the hardest is you need to talk to a few people and talk over what is going on and how you feel. This sounds easy but many of us have spent time trying to hide the real “us” for so long talking about it is not easy at all. Most of the time the Gate Keeper Model is used to protect the person in Transition. What this means is that it is Based off the ideal that you will need two professionals (Doctors) permission before they will consider you for Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).

Once HRT is allowed and you begin you can if you so choose to start trying to Transition in to the life style that you desire into in small steps. As it was for me I jumped right in as I felt for my personality this was the best way for me. Others try to ease in to it as some Families can be very anti towards the choice that has been made or that others they are a bit scared. Overall this part is more of a personal style. Though before any Surgery is done more professionals who are using the Gatekeeper model will require at least one year living as desired gender before granting permission.

Before surgery is done from the information I have gathered it is best if you take the time and follow through with the HRT for about a year or more to allow the body to adapt. Some professionals will allow one year but from what I have read i89t is not in the best and safest practice for you. What I am meaning is easy to understand with the following example (Example) HRT and Breast growth, welcome back to Puberty! (this time it might not suck) As for me right now 3 months HRT I am seeing my Breasts grow and they are a bit sore around the nipple and at times have felt a bit heavy as well. In the 3 months I have grown a Huge amount I am filling out a solid A cup size bra heading towards a B cup. Now if I was to rush and get a Breast enlargement and chose lets say a C cup enhancement after the HRT is done I could end up being a full cup or more larger than I expected. So from my research I am going to take about 2.5 – 3 years on the HRT.

By the way….. Just add this in to your memory bank. Even though you are going through Puberty (again) there is a few things you should know depending on your age and mental well being. As for me (despite someone saying I will be) I am not having ANY hormonal mood swings. Someone once said to me “I don’t want to be around you when you are going on your HRT cause your going to be a bitch” well that is 100% WRONG for me I am just the opposite it has been so far the most relaxing experience I have ever felt. Sad things are a bit more have a bit more of an impact than they have had in the past. I have even been teary at a stupid TV commercial those only last until your brain kicks in and logic takes over (well at least for me)

LOL, here comes the fun news Shrinkage and change of enjoyment of stimulation (what a pain in the arse trying to find a nice way to say what we are all thinking) So here it is Shrinkage of the Testies is the first thing you will notice physical wise. Which for me was a blessing (ACDC said it best) then sometime in the future you might lose the ability to become erect (though I have not had this problem) Size may also reduce (yes please). Now for the fun part of this, as most men they are more in tune with what they see than what they feel. What I mean is if you see porn or you partner, hello here it comes to the party. This is going to change and there is nothing you are going to do about it at all. As something to learn about your body is going on. Welcome to what women deal with it takes more than a photo, most of the time it is all in that connection. You are going to be learning that once over time. The end result of stimulation is going to change as well (Be ready for that). It is not a bad thing in fact it is a very emotional feeling that seems to last longer than what you have felt in the past.

Gosh I forgot about telling you about a minor Breast issue…..DON’T run without a BRA. Oh dear god the pain was just as bad as getting kicked in the….. I hope this might get better once puberty finishes but I don’t think it will. Some girl friends have had a few laughs at some of my OMG moments.

Clothes, well I have read this and seen the facts based on this information. Lets look at how we “came out” or when you knew you were “Trans” it has been suggested that depending on your age at the time clothing is linked to your memory and you may dress as such. For Example if you knew about being Trans at a teenage level, but could not act upon it at all. When you were able to act upon that issue your choices were styled upon that age group. So that is where we (Trans people) can sometimes end up looking like a 17 y/o in a 40 y/o body. A simple Transition tip dress your age and avoid some of the people “reading you”. You may not look like a genetic woman for sometime but at least you might avoid some situations where someone might be hostile towards you.

Well I hope this has given you a minor insight into what is going on with people transitioning from M2F (male to female). If you are reading this as a what is going to happen then I hope this helped. I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas. I hope the best for everyone and if you have questions please feel free to ask me. I would rather a friend ask and learn then to live in doubt or misunderstanding.

One more thing I used to think I was the only one Transitioning and I was the one that mattered. Wow that is so wrong, those who are around you are learning as well, some faster than others. So don’t be upset if pronouns are misused, guide by being gentle and loving. Give them time to watch you grow as well. Puberty was rough the first time on many of us and this time can be if you are not careful. If you have “issues” and you need to talk to someone PLEASE do it. Mensline is a great place even though it is for “Men” they are professional and they can help everyday if you need it.  IF you still need a friend drop me a line, I will do my best. I am a proud parent of 7 three live with me and are young so I am ok at giving out wisdom. BTW I can answer everything, you might not like my answers.

Proof is in what you Say and Do!

Wow what a week this has been filled with ups and downs. Little kids all three had to deal with being let down on issues. Wow that was hard to wipe the tears away. Yet i’m the bad person?

Went to court today oh how much fun that is…. 1 1/2 hours of nothing but to be told its been put for another date. Was not my fault.

Got a phone back! WOW how FUBARed that was police warnings and all. Then when I get the phone back and I looked at the “porn” it was searches done on You Tube with spelling that my 9 year old son can’t spell hold on to that evidence. Crazy how can you blame a child over and over saying he did it when it was not his ability to speel the words that were on the You Tube search? I was not auto correct as his You Tube app on his phone does not do that….

Guinea Pig is still alive and costing me money. I think it was less of a rescue and more of a “hey, I want one of those” by the kids. Oh I love them so much that yes I now have another mouth to feed and clean up after. But in the end the Happiness in their eyes make it worth while. So I guess I would do it all over again.

Found out the House cannot be sold right now, the “other” person put it on the market telling everyone that it was ok to be sold….Hmm Surprise! I think there going to be a few more.

Morgan my son in the US and I are talking about him coming for a visit once the house has been sold. More like a catch up over what we have missed. I am hoping the house sells soon as I really want to see him.

Birthday party for 20 girls is planned and ready to get underway…Yup 20 oh boy this is going to be one of those I am going to bed days that day, lol. Wow our little girl is going to be 8 years old. It went by so fast, I was looking at photos just the other day of her. So many happy memories and so many to come as well.




What would you do?

What would you do? Christmas is coming…..Here you are wondering what to do as you are without children this year…… So I lost my trust in the church that i loved for so long this year. I have been trying to find a way to bring the light of Christ in my life and the lives of my children. Here is what I am doing.

Step one, Do what others are unwilling to do. I have chosen to do one selfless act of kindness everyday.
Update: I’m doing it and I have been doing it for one month. It can be done.

Step two, Continue to pray openly with and without my children in the home.

Step three, Make a few calls to see if I can help out in serving meals to those less fortunate than myself when the children are not hear with me this Christmas.

Step four, The children and I have chosen to take a reduction in overall presents to buy one or two for someone we do not know. This was Gabriel’s idea. I so love him!

Step five, Christmas bread and give it away

Step six, Play Christmas music until we are sick of it

Step seven, Be thankful to those who have helped us this past seven months.

Step eight, Surprise someone….I Don’t know! with an act of kindness

Step nine, Repeat next year. Even step Three when the children are with me.

I asked you what you would do? Now that you have seen what I am going to do. These actions are not going to be simple, fast or fun (sometimes), but they are going to do what I believe is missing in my and the children’s life “Service”.

Time to get back

Well, it has been a couple of days, sorry. I have been working on playing my guitar once more. I so loved it, sure I am not the best but over all the crap of the past few weeks I felt I needed to hit the strings once more. Need to get back to teaching my kids how to play as well. In case if you ask I am a finger picker and right now learning the song “nothing else matters”

Nothing Else Matters Cover

Love the way this young lady does it.

As with all things not looking forward to Christmas this year. First time in a very long time spending it alone. I think I might have to buy a box or two for the tears. Though saying that is not bad, it was going to happen and I am ok with it.

I was on the Radio this week (Twice) oh man thinking back to when I was on it everyday. So miss that time in my life. It was like a huge rush not knowing what he was going to ask, not knowing if I could be understood in my response. Then at the end thinking wow did I just say that….
Looking back I think I have said what I have been wanting to say for such a long time it was nice for Brian at Tasmania Talks to ask me to call back. I do understand that Martine Delaney does have a right to feel the way she does. But do we really need a investigation on it. The Churches have the right to feel the way they do, we also have the right to speak with our feet.
I think that the Trans community has far more pressing issues to address than the large war on Marriage Rights inside a Church. As I see it it is their right to say no. I did find it a bit silly in that pamphlet where they stated that it was depriving a child of a Mother or a Father. Where is the common sense in that statement some single women are getting IVF, there are divorces there the other parent is refusing to allow the other parent to see the children.

I guess I should add a link to what I was talking about. Don’t mess with marriage this was handed out by the Catholic Church here in Tasmania.

While I don’t feel it is right to point fingers as they are not the only church raising same sex marriage concerns or being militant towards members of the LGBTIQ…. community. I did read a great blog post where a person pointed it out as to liken the way they are treating as by an Abusive parent “I hit you cause I love you” but come here cause we love you and want you around. But I come back to my point as I said on the Radio vote with your feet. Some of these churches are trying to hang on a Historical ignorant stand, meaning that with the logic they are using we would still have slaves and women can’t vote. Are the churches more scared of older members who are more homophobic than being a way to connect with a loving God? If you look at the Mormons, I have always had a problem with the way the Blacks were treated. Then when the lame reason that was given to allow them the same rights as whites in 1978(est). When in fact it was in Months of being threatened by the US government.
I think we will see something coming from the US government to end what the Churches are doing in the future. What will the churches do then when all people have the same rights?