Ok the real story of the day

I am going to link a show of Youtube. Please take the time and watch all of it and look at the stories inside the main story there are several different layers to this story. Since I am in Australia and this is home. I want all those who are also here to know just how lucky we are being in a country that does not demonize us for being different. Yes Australia is not perfect but it is better than where i came from……. The US has a long way to go. Gay marriage aside, that is only the bottom part of a bigger hill that needs to be climbed.

Like I said there are a lot of things going on that most might not see but I noticed. I am so thankful for the Police in Tasmania. They helped me get out of an abusive relationship. I could have gone to a women’s shelter if there would have been space for the children and I. In the end we are placed in a “Safe House” and very few people knew where it was. We were taken care of. Not one worker shunned me. I was treated with the amazing amount of respect. Yes there are scary times, yes there are times where I am alone. But in the end we are safe, we are better everyday. 2016 is going to be our year!


Something I read today by a friend……

Don’t Love what you can’t Trust
Don’t Hate what you can’t have
Don’t Say what you can’t show
Don’t Judge what you don’t know

I have only one line to add to this information is..

Say what you mean, Mean what you say

I have seen it so many times over the years. People of all walks of life, all faiths, and all races. Doing everything but this. We lie to ourselves and others.

I left the Mormon church about 10 months ago. Not due to anger, not due to disable. My reason was simple I am Trans and Women cant hold the priesthood. So I left had my name removed from the church.

In November of 2015 I was shocked by what the church did and I wrote about this in the past posts. I have seen in recent days a change in what the church is saying that “Now” Nov 2015 was given by god. Where earlier is was said it was not but that the “Brotheren” had made this choice. I have seen and heard people saying god is separating the wheat form the chaff. Call me crazy but I am not a second class person to god. I am having a hard time with Extremists in the LDS church who a couple have now shunned me…… I foresaw this coming I told a really good friend that this was going to happen. I started to see it happening to others now twice it has happened to me. People that I had been a TRUE friend to in the past and asked for NOTHING in return……

You want me to be angry, NO! You want me to be like you, NEVER! You want my Hate, you’re not worth my time! Turn your back on those of us who you deem unworthy. Cast your stones. We will stand together, our strength is more than your voices.


The older I get the more and more I see the same history’s repeat. So many time I have repeated them as well. The self abuse of telling myself “no one will like me” and even worse thinking that an abusive relationship was better than none.
Now we have been free of the pain for almost 8 months a lot of that time has been in soul searching and find the truths. Some truth should never come to light. But some that do show us who we really are it just needs to be understood and accepted or denied.
Yes I too have young children and more than anything in the desire that we all have to be loved. I am loved and I love, but maybe like you I want someone special in my life as well, but I will remain who I am and that person might knock on my door, but they will know special my children and I will not have to worry.
So my moral of the my story is remain true to yourself and be yourself. Just like me someone will find you so beautiful that they will not care if you have children they will celebrate them with you.

Making a choice

Well I had a minor setback today…. I was getting the paperwork ready for going to school, in fact was filling out the paperwork. When they told me for the loan I had to be a citizen. Well that just put a wrench in my plans for the future. Well only in the short term…..

So here is my revised plans:

  1. Fill out the Citizen forms
  2. Fill out the Name Change forms
  3. Apply for school

So with the new plans and having to readdress the timeline it is a bit of a blow but not a rejection. I wanted to be free of my ex-to-be before I started this point of my life. I wanted that crap to end. Start fresh with new hope and the happiness that does bring. But ones step at a time just in different order.

Never give up never quit…. THIS is my year!

The Revenant Review

Warning……I hated this movie……There is a spoiler alert as well……

IMDB Information

The Revenant (2015) Poster

The only way the damn movie saves itself from a 1 on my list is the amazing way in which it was filmed. The landscape was amazing!

So now that I have given my only praise that I can find in the damn movie is done lets talk about it. Ok to be honest I love the actors. BUT when you portray something of Native American Culture why does it always have to be based in the aspects of “the great beyond” crap at some point in the movie. Hollywood does this all the time. I love my Native American Family History, I am proud of who we are. But there is so much more of us than that part. It seems like Hollywood never gets the point. I found this movie to also insult my intelligence, I have had blood poisoning it is horrible. Your body is rebelling against you at every point and you are sore beyond belief. The issue of trying to make this main character larger than life goes even one step more to say that on top of blood poisoning he can survive freezing waters not once but twice if not more. I’m sorry back to the blood poisoning My temp was at 40 degrees cel. for over a week I lost so much weight it was not funny. I was USELESS for a whole summer and then I am still dealing with the after effects of it some 14 years later. Yeah I can grasp it is “Based on a true story” but for pete’s sake make it believable.

Then at times it eludes to a hatred that two tribes have, holy crap more of the same Native American stereotyping. Yes it happened but ARGH!!!!!!! If this movie gets and oscar, it should not! it is just CRAP on a stick.

Oh I could go on and on about my problems and loopholes in the story line plus Amount of BLOOD LOSS……GRRRRRR

But i am not going to do that

So here it is my score


The last 24 hours


I love my friends! to say that they really don’t know how much i love and respect each and everyone of them is an understatement. So I want to show you what acceptance is and show you what true love for friends is like during transition.

Most of you who read my blog dont really know that I used to be a…..IT person (you thought i was going to say a man, lol). I was the person some friends would call and say help me my computer has gone psycho. Thank god that has reduced to only a few close friends. Ok well on to the story, I have a good friend who I call me Brother (he’ not but it is a wish). Well back on track, I got a SMS saying Help…… so off I went and over a couple of days with their internet provider we got it all fixed. Yesterday I was talking to his AMAZING wife. We were just chatting about life and things that have been going on during my transition. A few laughs about how things I have been going through that all women know is a fact of life that 90% of Trans don’t know about or really don’t get until we start the HRT path. We talked over the Gate Keeper Model and how it is designed to protect Trans people from making a huge mistake (it does not always work but for the most part it does). She said oh that is a good thing cause once it is gone you can’t get it back….Please note she is a very highly educated professional surgical nurse. I replied back well thats not really true there is a procedure called an “Addadicktome” well that was the end of proper conversational etiquette and the laughs began.

We had a great time talking and it was so much fun. We even talked about a few things that have changed like smells and colors. When her husband returned from camping with there son. I was told that maybe at the end of my Transition taking all my notes and writing a book that might be a self help / my journey. Oh you poor people some of the stupid things I have been doing and finding out. It would even be placed in the Humor section…..lol.

The next thing that happened was our children are visiting there mum for a week and I get to call them. My VOIP client over my mobile phone gives the person on the other end an echo. So the kids hate that and we played a bit with it to make it enjoyable. Echos can be fun if you can do and evil laugh. No our calls are not so serious we have fun and goof off.

Well Later that night more of my GREAT friends came over for our once-a-month AD&D party. Yup we are nerds / geeks and we wear it with pride. the night was filled with humor and fun. We really don’t take ourselves so serious that the fun of being friends is lost. I so look forward to each time we all get back together.

When I dropped the bomb shell that I was going to Transition I was so worried that i was going to lose these friends, it was more of a worry than losing family members and even a more of a worry than the divorce I was going through. Much to my surprise I had surrounded myself with some of the GREATEST group of people I have ever met. When the truth of the divorce was also reveled and why we left our home. One of them offered the children and I money almost demanding that if I needed it he would give it, another one showed up at my home dropping off food and gave me some hidden cash in the food, another one has treated me with such respect that pronouns are always on the mark even though I have never demanded or asked them to be, another once made calls to me on a regular basis, and one of them last night started calling me by my name at time with even pauses, one called me during the dark times every night. These are my TRUE friends.

All of these great Friends at one time or another have been there for me. I am living proof that  choosing good friends take time and has great rewards. If I could introduce each of my readers to them you would see just what I am talking about. In a way I have a Family that has more blood sweat and tears in it than most families that are by birth. You can find this happiness, you can keep it alive if you feed it and return the love that they give to you.