The Double Digits

Happy Birthday

Tonight I am happy to point out that one of my sons has reached 10!!!!! Wow the big Double Digits! Well I took the kids out for a great meal as he got to choose where he wanted to go and Hogs Breath Cafe was the place.

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I have to point out as a big Double Digit young man he got to choose anything outside of the kids menu. He ate the whole thing. He was treated like a king and made to feel on top of the world good job guys. Oh to to a tattoo ear pierced server thank you got getting my pronouns right!

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About me has been updated

I never thought I would make a story about me so damn long. If you think about it I am not even done so much more to put into it. it is over 3000 words I am so shocked that I am writing this. I love the fact that I have the bug. i would have never thought in a million years that me a dyslexic could write my story. Hell it used to make my ex-to-be so damn mad that I don’t read books, lets be honest I hate to read it is a pain in the ass as words on the page move and I just don’t have time for that. Plus it takes me about 3 times rereading the book to get the same thing out of it that you did.

Ok off the rant Have a new read and enjoy…….Best wishes to everyone.

Cult of immediate gratification

Ok I wrote this on Sunday, posted it on Monday. And the line came from someone else (Vé Ronique). But if you think of it you can glean some huge truth out of it. I go back to the point of the fact that I have chosen to remain true to marriage vows until the divorce comes through. I then feel like the writer of the subject it is far better to delay the gratification. I want the date, I want the person to get to know me before doing the U HAUL. I have seen how this has impacted my children with the randoms that have come and gone up to the current one at my ex-to-be life. I think that part of the romance is not to drop the clothes at the first sign of the need to get off. I am sorry for being that blunt but if you think about it there is a huge point that most do understand is that what relationships are built on.flowers

As with most things the time that is given before the sex allows a deeper sense of love and bonding and core memories to be built before the the serious part of the relationship is started. Our grandparents who had long lasting relationships took time building them and remembered to forgive and forget. The cute older couples never got there by having a jump in the sack asap.

plus after a huge loss of a relationship taking the time to rebuild ones core self is huge the building blocks for your future happiness and for those around you. I am amazed  and very thankful for another friend who opened this conversation that sparked my ideas. Thanks Fiona!

 

Well it’s Sunday

We had an interesting 24hrs it started with the ex-to-be saying to our oldest son that I had a girlfriend. Well it was rather interesting and strange why it was brought up and to the point the children know that all my time is devoted to them right now. Plus they know that I am still married to her and I would not break one of the ten commandments.  Funny how she is concerned about what I am doing in my love life when she has been seeing a few men since we separated in March of last year. Oh well who cares, I wish them the best. I really do then she might leave me alone…..?

Well back to our Sunday we had a great time playing the Wii and watching movies. It is fun finding movies that I grew up with and enjoyed. We just finished the Addams family the Shadow is next. I know some of these movies are campy as hell but in the end they are fun and not to heavy with crap that kids don’t need to worry about. It is almost a part where we have forgotten that movies are supposed to entertain us.

We have enjoyed a Breakfast for dinner. When I was growing up my mum used to do  this for the family as well. I always loved eggs, toast, hash browns, and bacon in a way it is a comfort food placing smiles on faces and making time to talk and listen.

I never thought finding a new car would be some much fun. I have been looking at something that I will keep for a long time and will enjoy driving it. Still leaning towards the MG ZT.

Another tear falls….

I don’t think many will understand the reason for this post…. this is not meant in the way you might think of it.

It was 2012
I am driving drown the highway behind the ambulance. Lights are filling the night sky red and blue. Tears are filling up my eyes, I am scared. I prayed the whole drive. The blood was everywhere I watched as it drop by drop hit the floor. My hands are red, the seat next to me is blood stained. I watched them panic, the fear in their eyes. Questions are asked, none can I remember.This plays…..

They take you away……… I never saw you again.

Strange how memories stay with a person. I have always been blessed with a great memory so I have been told. Though think of it this way. The above memory it lodged in my mind forever. What you have not understood by what I wrote is the crazy issue is that I don’t do blood at all. It is as the time I am driving I am more worried about the person in the ambulance and I am in a mode that happens to many people know about. It is automatic responses to certain issues. Then when the danger is over your natural reactions take place, for me I normally pass out.
My memory is good enough to remember the smell of the blood as well. I remember everything about that night and if I am not careful I relive the memories emotions and all.

I have always found it insulting when the ex-to-be says “you never loved me” I went thought hell for her and would do everything all over again if I had to go back in time. Cause right now I am so very happy with my life right now. It is very sad how it ended but for years I saw this coming. You can only put another person through hell for so long before they just plainly walk out.

Now to explain what I meant by “I never saw you again” the ex-to-be and I lost a child that night….See you though it was about her. You were wrong, it was about the child we never got to know and I still to this day feel a sense of complete loss for.

The challenge, its only 30 days

Wow, as you have been getting to know more and more about me I am sure you can tell that I can take a long time to make choices.

Well this might prove to be an interesting choice I have made. Now I am sure a lot of people might not be able to do this choice, though I will put it out there for everyone to give it a go.

In August I started a big challenge and that was to avoid watching the news for 30 days. The idea of this was to see what it can do to you emotional issues as you will no longer be worrying about stuff you can’t change. Now mind you this challenge does not mean you have to stand clear of all news. Reading the news as far as only local was fine. I did that for 30 days and found out it had a huge impact on my life and the children. We stopped being concerned over stuff that we cannot change and wasting time which took 30 minutes a day. Yeah i know you are thinking that 30 min is not much but add it up it will shock you. We also stopped watching those horrible current affairs programs. Okay so there was another 30 minutes saved.  We stopped watching TV altogether at dinner time. Think about that look at what can happen we gained time as a family once more people were focusing on having fun and enjoying a good dinner. Cooking time was a lot easier as i did not get distracted due to the TV.

Now we are in March, 8 Months of this challenge what have I missed, Nothing in fact I read only news I want to read and we talk at dinner time. I think we as a family have become closer that ever before.

So let me challenge you give it 30 days……Then when you have done it send me a reply and pass it along.

Well It had to be done…

Is life strange or what? One minute you riding high and the next……Well you know the song or do you?

As you can see there is now a PayPal button on the side, if you feel inclined and you enjoy my blog please help keep it going. Thank you in advance…..Ally

I’m amazed

I am amazed just simply and most humble at the wonderful readers that I have. I have seen that my writings have reached lives far and wide from all corners of the earth. From those rich and those humble just like myself. I always felt that one should be humble enough to say thank you and mean what you say and in saying what you mean. Thank you dear readers.