In a conversation last night ex-to-be to our oldest son “I stopped loving your dad” while honest it should have been tempered with mercy. Sometimes we as parents go the one step to far, we never take the time and think about the impact of what we say to a child. I watched our son lose hope and fade into a dark place where he was not sure how to get out. I called out to him once he was done listening to what she had to say. He came over softly walking he stopped just in front of me and the heavens opened up and the tears began to fall. I grabbed him brought him close to my heart and he rested his head upon my shoulder and cried for what seemed a life time. It was all he could do, about 20 minutes later tears all dry I saw my son in a different light. Just a simple little boy who wanted an answer to a question which in his mind was simple and honest after his mother asked him what was wrong he said “can’t you and dad get back together?”.
To be honest I have fronted that very same question from him as well. To some point he is still wanting us to be a complete family again. I am not shocked that from my answers to him on this very same question he still misses the family as a whole. While I understand that to a child this is very simple, say your sorry hug and forgive. We tell our children that all the time. We are as parents far from willing or able to do it. I think where the break was when she said “Your dad never loved me”
A tear soaked shirt, a child says”Dad I know you loved mum, why would she say that”. Sometimes it is so hard to find answers to questions that you yourself don’t have. All I could do was to be honest and say “I don’t know”. The tears began once more. This time I cried with my heart broken child.
Tears are a wonderful way to clean the body of the pain felt by the soul. For the rest of the night he sat next to me just wanting to be loved and cared for. Bed time came and soon he was in dream land.