In a support group I am part of, this video was shared. I think it might be nice to share it on a wider scale. I have been subscribed on her YouTube channel for a while now and have not seen this one yet. It has helped me a bit and I will explain below why it has helped me.
So I have asked this question of myself several times. I have been questioned about why I have made this choice cause of the same issues. I have had the Ex-to_be and a few of her friends report that I was not dressed in female attire.
When I made the choice to Transition I know that once I announced that I was Trans and started down the path of Transitioning there was no turning back as I have a personal motto that I have lived by for a very long time, Say what you mean, mean what you say. When I started my Transition I got rid of all my stumbling blocks that might have caused issues in my life. Some of these are going to be hard to understand unless you have walked my path. But I feel like it might help someone understand me better if they knew what I have given up. These are not in order as far as time lines go.
The First step in my Transition was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life to this point. I said Enough
, I’m not going to take it anymore. What I mean is very simple somethings that men do not talk about is being abused by their partner. It is just not done, it is even worse for Transwomen. Who in their right mind would listen to me / us (By the way, stop thinking like that, people listen, people help! I am proof!). I stood up for myself, but all it did was make things worse for me until I made the choice to no longer be the brunt of her Jokes, Bullying, Threats, Name calling, degrading comments and lies. At some point I had to stand up and I had to say NO
. That was the scariest night of my life, the night I said get in the car children and we left.
KaSecond, I got rid of every piece of male clothing at the same time of telling the truth about what was behind the mask I had wore for so long. I knew there was going to be some losses and hurt people. What did I expect? To be honest, I expected my blood family would not like it to much, but being blood they would help me in this time (sadly I was wrong). I expected to lose friends (was scared of this part). I had 7 yes 7 close friends Alan T, Rowan M, Liam G, Graham M, Gordon & Karina J, and Jackie L. Losing these core friends scared me to death. In fact to me losing them would have been more hurtful than losing my wife (she lost me). Sometimes when you toss a bunch of coins in the air and they land you call heads I win tails, I lose. When they settle you see what has happened. I am in tears writing this part, I am the luckiest person I know cause not only did the 7 core friends stay they proved that each one of them are and should fever be known to me as the magnificent 7.
The first few months after we left and I went though the hell that was coming to terms with the abuse that the children and I went through. These Seven grew to 8, then to 9 then to 10 then so on and so on. But at the core of it all 7, 7 friends who supported me when all my family left…… If lies were cats someone would be a litter…..Truth always like the cream rises to the top. Thanks to my 7 friends for knowing what was truth from lies. Good bye to those who can’t tell.
Third, I did not give up who I am, I let who I am be free…….I still like some guy things, and I still like to do a few guy things. F*&^ing Deal with it! I know there are lots of women who do the same. To me they are still women.
Forth, The friends I lost were replaced by some of the best people I have ever met, who if I never took this trip would never have met. As well as catching up with an old one. Here it Goes Wayne, James, Anita, Craig, Jason, Nichole and Anna-lisa. Yup I have left off a few but this was not cause I don’t think that they did not impact my life as Ally (Aleana) these ones just added a bit more support for someone going through a shitload of pain.
SO there you see I am Trans enough cause I say I am, and so do my friends and children.