Someday’s it is just so damn hard

Okay this is not a sob post or a poor me post. No, this post is a bit of a fuck off closet post. OK think about the closet that so many of us seem to step out of. Yup I will admit it right now I hate with a passion the “closet” term. to be honest it drives me mad. I think of it more and an act of self preservation. Watch this Ted talk……

Okay thank you…

Now lots look at closets, not the ones I am going to be putting in the house that I build for closet
the children and I. Hiding who we are is a fact of life but not one I would say is all that great. Hiding if you read my story so far has saved my life. But also it comes at a cost that many of us just don’t really understand much less know how to work with. These costs come in many forms such as social, personal and economical . Case in point and I will use me for this example but not a photo of me (wisdom in practice). One of my major hurdles has been makeup and dressing stylish enough to help me pass. The problem is that many old Transwomen have not had the years to hone makeup skills and sometimes we can come bad makeupoff looking like…. So you can see that even though this was a cisgender woman and she is not immune from it as well. I But when you are a Transwoman this can make a huge issue. You are scared to asked for help so you try and try again a friend here and there have helped me past this stage of shock and awe style makeup (thank you). But his is not the only  issue we face after the hiding Style of my god style. What the fuck have I done with my brain (if you find it let me know). Cause somewhere I started caring what others thought of the way I was dressed (yup the ex-to-be just spat her drink all over her computer). We start off with the idea that we love certain looks and so we buy. Yup error number 1 and it is the biggest error. The error is that we have hid for so long and watched styles come and go never being able to enjoy and when it is our turn time has passed and moved on. For example …….mutton. yup the mutton dressed as lamb issue (btw there are a lot of scary images on google). So what do you well I have had to use Pintrist to educated myself on proper fashion for my age. Yet even I sometime buy stuff that somewhere there is a person who would have seen my buy it and go WTF are you doing? But this list goes on and on. I think the issue of the suicides of trans-people is the social acceptance. Be is coming from peers, family, lovers, partners is all a big part of the the solution. Also having good cisgender female friends help you when the times are hard. Fuck you that damn closet pain in my ass. Sometimes you wish you never left it cause the issues of being somewhat safe vs the world as you know it.

Don’t even get me started on wanting companionship…….

Hell ………. the weekend is on the way, lol

Be kind, please
 

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