I wanted to write you a letter even though I know we talk. Look you asked me to check my schedule for a timeline when you could come down for a visit. I was looking at December this year cause the children will be here until the 25th at 5pm. We could have a wonderful time. I want you to know that I am so sorry that mum passed away. I know you must miss her a lot. I will try to cook a big Christmas dinner with all the fixings that you so love. I don’t know if I can make it feel like mum did though. But you will have a good time and the kids would love to get to know you.
Now dad on a more serious note. I love everything you ever did for me even the times when I was a royal pain in the ass and when we did not see eye to eye. When you come you must know that things in my life are not the same as you might have hoped for. I no longer go by my Birth name. Please don’t get me wrong I have a huge respect for that name and it goes even deeper than that. I don’t live my life like that as well. As you know I have told you and mum that I am Transgender and that I am for once being true to myself and no longer hiding. I don’t really dress they way I used to as a few things physically have changed as well. When or should I say if you come you will welcomed with open arms of love and happiness this has not changed but I do not look like or act like the person you once thought you knew.
I don’t drink or do drugs. But I am not going to go back to the church you raised me in. I don’t fit in their mold I am not asking you to change the way you talk with me or address me. Though I leave that up to you. I still go by Al or Ally or my name is Aleana. Most friends don’t make it formal here is Australia, they call me Ally.
This time when you come we will go do a few things together and treat you a bit better. I think you will see a bit of a difference in me as far as I am Happy. I have a list I would love to go see with you. I hope you can plan for a month I would love to have you here that long.
In case you don’t recognize me I will be holding a sign with your name on it just to make you feel special. I wonder if I could find a limo driver outfit, ha ha.
Just know this at the core of me is me happy to see you happy to have you here.
I made this an open letter not cause my dad will read this (cause he does not do the internet very well). I did this in hopes that if others who might be walking a path just like me. Who want to open that line of communication with a parent can see that it is hard and that it can be done with love and kindness. Our parents at the core, do love us even though they find it hard to accept us cause seeing the physical side is what they saw when we were born. When we hid, we hid also from them so they might not really know how to deal with the real us. I am trying myself to be more open and honest with my Father. I know my dad is a bit of a mans man. SO he might have a hard time but then again he might not. It is a risk worth taking cause I love my parents no matter what.