You should not expect that I will be silent. Domestic Violence is sickening in all of its forms. From Rosie Batty to myself and others just like me. If you did not want the world to know, you should not have done it. This is the time of honesty where the things people do are written upon the house tops. It is not our fault for your actions.
In a relationship you should never be attacked with physical violence, threats in any forms, and verbal abuse is still abuse. You may never see my scars, but I live with them every day.
Now is the time for all people young and old alike to say “No more”. No more, violence is not acceptable. Men need to grow some and get help during and after. Trans people need to say we are worth every drop of our blood, we are worth every breath we take and we say “No More”.
If you need help and are in Australia please get it. Life without abuse is the most wonderful feeling one can have. It frees ones soul to soar with the eagles. There is help out there….
When things were bad I made it through by the wonderful help of……
I know it says Mensline but even though I am Trans they understood and were so kind and gentle. I got out thanks to these groups……
IF you don’t say it is wrong, then it says its alright – Blind Boys of Alabama
Make stand show your self worth and say No More. Leave, get out, if you have children take them with you. What you are going through they are going through. Go to the police first thing get protection, I did. All things can be replaced even ones you think can not be replaced. Get a good attorney make sure they are good. Don’t play games, get help you will need it. Cause before you are able to see the light it will be the darkest. Tears will be shed, you will doubt your self worth. But know this You are worth it, you are going to be okay. You will never forget the pain, but you will be stronger. Like the sword it is created with fire, beat down and then cooled with the water until it is strong. In time you will be able to cut your way through the pain, you will stand and be thankful for the blessings. Some day with others like me you will stand and say No More. I wish you all the best and my thoughts are with you.
Being a Transwoman there are quite a few things you are not ready for when Transitioning and even more when you do it later in life. Some of that is made harder by acceptance of others. Though even if you are as blessed as I am, it still is a shock to the system. SO I am going to list a few things that many people Cis and Trans don’t think about when it comes to Transition.
- Colors, I bet you never thought about this. I never did because it was something no one talks about in research, forums, Youtube or in chat boards. I was sitting talking to some wonderful family friends at a brunch at their home. As I was sitting there she I could not take my eyes off this group of flowers. I was completely taken away but the stunning beauty of the colors and the Bees darting in and out. I have seen these flowers all the time but not since I was on HRT (Hormones). This is something that must have a direct link to Estrogen. This change started about 3 months into the HRT.
- Smells, okay lets be honest most men don’t know when they “Smell” in fact until a man gets to the point where other men are saying something you know it is BAD. Well GUYS…..use the shower! cause I can pick it up big time now. I thought it might have been just a few guys that I knew who might now shower enough. But nope it was not that at all. I have a REAL top notice friend who has started going to the Gym a lot. I stopped by his home to chat with his wife and he came home after a gym and wow it was bad. Worse than it ever was, cause guys do notice the Gym smell. But oh my lord it was a bit sickening (sorry mate). Old left overs or what ever in the fridge…..I open the door to the fridge and the smells boom the hunt is on…This happened about 5-6 month mark.
- Taste, no it has nothing to do with Chocolate, lol. But some sweets are enough to make me take my time and enjoy them a bit more. I am a savory type person and I have noticed that even that has changed a bit. Things that I kinda liked before now are wow! somethings are get it away from me when I used to love them. THis started about 10-12 months.
- BRA’s, Guys you have no clue the love hate relationship women have with them. You get one that is perfect in every way shape or form. Then it happens the hooks die, the underwire say “i want to be free”, Your Boobs grow, you lose a little weight or anything that you can think of that will change the bra or your body. It is a living hell, it is like this collection you have and the colors are not right for the clothes you are wearing or that day it just feels horrible. But even when that are not just “Right” you wear it because it looks perfect on you. Then that point even the best one feels great when at the end of the day you can take the damn thing off.
- Buying clothes, I know there is online hell. It is when you find that perfect dress and you pay for what seems like a steal and it was just that a steal of your money. Jeans dear good Jeans, you try on this pair and they are fine in fact might even be perfect. But the issue is that you took over an hour finding them. SO you think maybe I can risk it and get a send pair without trying them on (DON’T DO IT!, Just DON’T), you go home and a couple of days later you try to put them on. Somewhere in the world you hear a woman scream “NOOOooooo…..FFS”. You it is at this point you know that not even underwear can be trusted (bras).
- Temperature, Okay I was told that winter will be a bit of a shock for me cause I used to wear shorts before HRT. Nope never going to do that ever again unless it is hot outside. It is even so bad that one second it is cold and the next minute it could be to hot.
- Skin, okay so women have softer skin this we know. But it is thinner and wrinkles less but when it does you can see it, Baggy eyes.
- Temperament, This was something I was not ready for at all. It is so peaceful now. I love how much more of an unexpected and deeper bond with my friends now.
- Okay we are warned about the TV! Men have no clue, in fact i think it is a setup to make women buy more tissues. Stupid crying at TV commercials.
- Makeup, You are never be ready for that in fact it is a bunch of trials and error. But then listen to pros and watch Youtube. Remember less is more sometimes.
- Laser…..Do it sooner rather than later.
Okay this is my list to date. I hope it makes you smile and to have a better understanding of Transition. Remember to take it slow and enjoy every step of the way. There are some amazing discoveries to be had.
If you could only see the smile on my face. I have had a wonderful last 24 hours. After the post on the Facebook site called Humans of Launceston. I was not ready for all the outpouring of kindness. In fact it was rather shocking when you come down to it. Most of the time Transpeople are bit scared of doing something like that, because it puts us in a spotlight. Unlike Caitlyn Jenner we just want to get by in life without making to many ripples. Crap, here I am making waves, oh well. I know that a lot of people are a bit cautious in approaching people just like me. I assure you this much I personally would rather people ask me questions than to dwindle with bad information. Cause once you get to know me I am a bit well, Normal.
Sometimes we are influenced by all the negativity given to us by the Media and narrow minded groups. I hope my blog shows what I was hoping it would. Have a wonderful day, I’m going to enjoy my kids for a little bit before their bed time.
But why the hell not give it out now…..
Well we all know the wonderful photo and Makeup that Bec Stosh did for me. Well someone else just did another kind thing for me. Told a bit of “My Story” on this page Humans of Launceston . I love it and such a kind thing to do. I was going to wait until the persons news story came out in the newspaper but why wait……. Cause he did a great Job !
Word mark on About me Page.
Photos has been added with captions, stories cleared up, stories added and time line fixes.
To be honest I did not think my story would make 10k mark let alone 1k mark. My next goal is going to be 15000 words. We will see if I can make the time to do it. Hey thanks for reading.
The About me page is updated and my Timeline is also updated. About me page is fast on its was to 9000 word count.
Today was Gabriel and Niamh school performances of Matilda. Here is Gabriel.
Both did a great job!