I had this wonderful conversation with a friend last night and it started me thinking maybe if we start changing out thoughts on relationship away from the need for short term gratification. To a long term love affair what would be needed?
I have always hated the term “Public Displays of Affection” or “PDA’s”. The reason for my dislike of the term is so very simple, we need them we need to know that we are loved enough for it to be shown. This does not mean to the point someone is yelling out “get a room”. What I am meaning is the simple things holding hands as you walk together. The moment where you reach across the table to hold the other persons hand if only for a few seconds. The hug in the middle of the day in the middle of town. The soft brush of her cheek. Simple actions yet to both parties they whisper I love you to the soul.
I think we have come to a point in our society where we need instant gratification. Where if one person is not doing “everything” the way we want it and the time we want it in we throw a temper tantrum. Now I am not saying that being angry about the actions of another person that is hurting you is wrong. Far from it, if you are being hurt by god get the fuck out. What I am saying is that we should be taking the time and doing the small acts of love to build something different than instant love. To be honest instant love is not real, it never has been and it never will be. But you can turn infatuation in to love but it takes time.
I have always wanted what my grandfather had in his heart for my grandmother. Sadly they divorced, but on his death bed he called her. They talked and the connection of love had never left his heart. It was a different time and different actions that lead to their divorce but he loved her until the very end and even when they had both remarried. I have always wanted that love where two people die days weeks or a month of each other when they are old.
How is this done? How do the older ones do it? I have tried and tried even to the point of tears, unsuccessful. I have given my all to someone, but I have also learned that some people are not capable of returning that love. Next time if there is, I will do it all over again. I will hold her hair when she is sick. I will tuck her in when she is ill. I will reach across the table to hold her hand. I will kiss her and hold her. I will once again learn to love another person so much that they are my sun, moon and stars. I will cuddle at every drop of a hat. I will once again do the small things.