There is no such thing as a futile dream.

About a year ago I became friends with the son of the wonderful member of Parliament who helped me stay in Australia. At the time I did not know where this friendship would lead. It has been a wonderful journey being a part of this friends life and having him in my little families life. An opportunity arose to repay his mother’s kindness from so many years ago, sadly she passed away. My wonderful friend had this dream to build a Jazz club.

No dreams are futile after a bit of elbow grease. My wonderful friend has enriched the lives of those that have been around him for many years. Starting on last Friday night we embarked on a journey involving great people, wonderful company and sand paper. Last night we reached a milestone where we where able to put the first coat of stain on the hard wood floors after Close 225 man hours of sanding the bar.

Each day we make progress to a dream that my friend had. As we were working we have been visited by the ghosts that inhabit the bar and hotel. We have this wonderful sense that from the visit that they have graced us with the former owner from years past. We have felt them standing watching us. We have even had a hand on the back pushing a person away from a shape edge that would of cut the persons back open. We are making sure to acknowledge the love they once had and the help they now give.

I would love to give you photos but that is for another time. To my good friend thank you for letting me help you create your dream.

A lesson learned

I was always taught that the truth will set you free. What none of us are ever taught is that the truth can also be a prison. When you try to hide the truth, change the truth, mislead others, tell only part stories these and many other ways of subverting the truth. You will build the walls that will lock you in to your self made prison. I have been sitting on the sidelines watching a person build their walls, sadly they have no clue that the walls are being built around them due to the self disillusion that they have created. It is sad to say that once the walls are in place others will be blamed for the problems that walls create.

I know that so many of the LGBT community do build our own prisons but I am not talking about this. I am talking about anyone who  desires to build a life out of deception. It will become the greatest ball and chain around their feet. Slowing their progress and health towards the goals that they desire. The truth of a happy life will never be achieved due to the prison walls. Compounded by the willingness to be honest with ones self.

So is there a solution?

The solution lies within ones own self to step out of the shadows and regain who they were at one time. This is not an easy thing to do. I watch this person time and time again install walls and prison guards. If only this person could just be honest with everyone around them, then the guards would leave, the walls would crumble and when there is nothing left to hold captive they could enjoy life of freedom.

Though this will never happen for the person until this person has nothing left to lose.



Month 14

Well it has been added to the time line page as well.

Month 14

Wow what a month this has been I am a person that does wear my heart on my sleeve. No matter how much I try this is something that has grown a bit with the HRT. For example I was reading this story today about a Sexual Assault that took place on Tribal lands in the US and how the Tribe did what needed to be done and in the end the amazing respect was given to the victim and the punishment was in the end given to the women to handle. They held him down and cut off his braids, then turned him over to the Police. I broke down cried it hurt so much to have the flash back of my little girls telling what happened to her. It felt like it just happened. I would have to say the HRT has caused a few issues with my memory. Some things are just that much more vivid.

I have been having issues this month with the Breast tissues no being as sore as they have in the past but they are still developing. My hips have been changing a bit, getting wider but where is my bum, lol. I have been seeing a large growth in my hair.

I am still working with the breast massage and starting to decrease the fat intake. I will start the exercise part of my development. This part will focus on the waistline and the legs, I will be avoiding the upper body work as that has still a large amount of bulk that I would like to reduce a bit more.

Body hair is still a bot of an issue the back hair is reducing slower than I want it to but it is getting there.

A sad day

To my readers around the world,

As many of you might have guessed that I am from the US but now living in Australia. In the last 24 hours the US has done something that I never though would have ever happened. But lets roll back the clock a bit before we talk about what just took place. I am proud to say I was a Bernie supporter is sent in my $27 dollars. When he with drew from the race we all suspected it was fixed. We Could see the writing on the walls. Email no matter who leaked them proved our deepest fears. It provided the supporters of change a focal point of anger. What followed was contempt by the DNC and Hillary Clinton for all the supporters of Bernie. We had proven our voices were loud but not louder than the corruption that took place.
But in the end Bernie I suspect his heart was broken bowed out. As time marched on more and more proof that what we were left with was not only a wannabe leader in Clinton, but showed us how truly corrupt she was . Then when one of the ring leaders of the corruption was kicked out of the DNC. Hillary made she she was not forgotten and placed her as part of her staff.
What they seemed to forget is that once burned people don’t forget that fire is hot. They knew that this person not only was part of the corruption, but now part of her team and might be part of her cabinet if she had one. Americans really don’t care much for cheaters and Hillary forgot this part. She also lost touch with the public and thought that if she pointed her finger enough at Trump saying I might be bad but look at him would help her.
In the end the US public would not stand by her and rebelled. The Majority spoke loudly and firm with a resounding NO. It was not so much as a vote for Trump as more of a vote of Not Her!
Now the DNC will look at what went wrong and try to figure it out. One thing they had forgotten all along is the when it comes to the US presidency the phrase “if you don’t succeed, try, try again” does not work. From my memory I cannot remember another time when a failed candidate got to try again. Normally they fade in to the history books never to be a thorn again. So what made the DNC think that the problems of the past would not haunt Hillary in the present?
Once again we come back to the issues that Americans don’t like cheaters and they don’t forget the ones that got caught.

Now I know that the issues of a Trump presidency scares many of the world. But it is nothing that compares to his Vice president. A man who has sworn to repeal all protections for the LGBT communities. As a Transwoman I now know that going home will never happen for me even for a visit as I value my life above all the Joys of seeing my son in the US. This is a sad feeling as I miss him so much. I know now that keeping my US citizenship is worthless it has no value. I was worried about Clinton but I am terrified of what Trump will let his Vice President do.

I wish all my readers in the US safety and good health in the coming years. I think you are going to need it.



Sun burn is making it a bit tough to write today. Though I wanted to give everyone a status update on the books progress. Well it has hit a stall point in my part and that means I have to wait for to groups to get there stuff done before I can do the rest on my point. I am still searching for the $1.5-$2.5k do start publishing in Australia as I have top buy the books first. So please share this link and do it often I need to get those funds up and running . Though I will say this much that as soon as the Funds start rolling into the US side of the book I might be able to take those funds to push the Australia start as well. Though I am not 100% on how fast those sales will be.

I have been getting feed back still from a few people very excited about reading this book so, a little help will go a long long way.

book update

Well setup is done for the base leg work on the book. Now I have today sent the book to my attorney to make sure I am safe to submit it for print. Cover has been getting a lot of people of happy for the cherry blossoms on the cover. The launch party is getting ready as well. I am building the guest list. I have the venue in mind for the party. I have started looking at the marketing side as well. I never thought writing this book was going to be as hared as it was.

I am started the second book as well. I am waiting to see if my dad will allow me to write his story. I have already started on the book. If my dad says no I will just get rid of what I have written.

Book update

Well I have been so busy getting my book off the ground that I have forgotten the blog. I am so sorry for doing that but I am going to share with you the cover design if the book. Get ready……


Boom, I did it. Yup getting ready for put all the pieces together soon. I am so excited i would have never thought I could have done this. I am so proud of myself. I am aiming for full publish by December and an Australian Book launch in January. Even my dad was excited. I am going to do his story next he he he. He does not read my blog so I am not worried about him finding out, yet. I am going to do it before his story is gone. Plus I want to know what he never told us kids as well. After all I want to do it while he is alive and then fly over and have Chocolate Milk and Doughnuts with him. When you buy my book you will understand the issues with Chocolate milk and Doughnuts.


Soon I will update once the editor is all done. Then I will update again once the Lawyer is all done. Shortly after that I will have the publish date. WOW I am so excited.



In your face, I wrote a book! That is for the disbeliever!