Well this month was a big one. While some of my physical traits such as breast development have slowed a bit a few other issues have started to appear.
I sometimes feel very lucky that I have not gone through the second puberty the way so many others have while on HRT. I think it might be that I am pretty stable in my cognitive reasoning and know when I am being a bit of a flake. I have also known when to walk away from those who might stress the bounds of friendship. I am also taking the point that I am not the only one going through this transition, when in fact it is everyone around me that is.
Though saying that this past week I experienced a bit of a need to lay on the bed and cry after a friend said a few horrible things to me. Now did I take them wrong? I am still not 100% sure on that matter but I will take the time and think about what the context was and if I did poorly in my response. Even though at this time I have not taken the time to respond to the friend directly as I am not really sure how I felt about what was said and the actions that followed.
I have also been trying to better understand the issues that lay in the agreed settlement with my ex about time with the children. Most of what I am feeling takes a bit more of an emotional toil than it once did before the HRT.
I am trying to work through most of the emotional baggage that comes with these lows with the approach of what is logical to resolve them. I am still finding that my feelings are hurt but I am somewhat able to remove elements of these issues to lessen the impact.
I have noticed a slowing in the breast growth but I am not to concerned with that at this time. Some fat redistribution has made putting on a few of my clothes a bit of a challenge and I think that this is due to also diet. In the coming months at the 18 month mark I will reduce the fat intake. I am still tender around the Areolas to about a 1/4 of an inch into the surrounding skin. Man fat due to man boobs is reducing as well. If you do not understand this it is the fat the sits in the underarm areas folding into a bit of back fat.
Hair, well this is still reducing slowly over time. I do still have the issues of Dysphoria due to the hair that men get in some areas. But it is slowly going away. Head on my scalp has gone into overdrive these last few months with the growth close to 1 -2 inches of new. Though I am still taking Hair, Skin and Nails formula. This is a good thing and helps fight the dysphoria caused my not having the right looking hair. Underarm hair where did that go? really I have not one clue why that stopped. I have found no information why it would have but I am thankful for it.
Why do I have to deal with this part of the transition! could I not have to smell mens B.O. There are times that I just have to get up and walk away from it all. In fact men who “smell” a lot or have issues or forget to shower are making me a bit ill when being near them. Though I still to this day have not found a nice way to say “Man you STINK”. I can only think that women put up with this all the time. I went to work one day and I was told how nice I smelled by one of the employees on staff (thanks Jack) you have no idea how much perfume is needed to hide some smells of B.O.
Well my skin seems to have a mind of its own. I get scratches and I don’t even know how. I have also dealt with the feeling that my hands were made from sandpaper after working one day. I have to find cream and fast and hard to do when some men have other issues and hand cream is not one of them…….b.o……just saying.
Well there is month 15 in a nutshell it went by so fast…..