What have I done to myself!

I have unleashed a beast within my own life. I did it to myself and I have no one to blame but me. It haunts me day in and day out, morning noon and night it is always driving me. Sure I could do something about it but why? Who would have ever thought that this once crazy idea would have become a passionate force invading my every thought. Waking me in the middle of the night! Making me steal time, paper and pens. Anything just to write a few notes here and there. Argh! what have I done to myself…… I even find myself trying to explain the nuances of telling someone you just can’t say…… Because there is not life to saying that. In fact I have argued it with that person 5 times until my head was sore and i needed a break from him. Is this what I become frustrated writer. Mind you my dad’s book is moving slowly, but it is moving along. It even hit a small bump in waiting for him to come back to me with information. Plus he has lost so many memories it tears me up inside.

So while I was waiting I started another dream, my cookbook. Yeah I know I am not a chef but these are our families recipes that I would also hate to see drift off and be forgotten in time. It is a bit of fun to write a cookbook. I sit here and think how many people might enjoy these Recipes as much as our family has. The funny thing is there are not to many Desserts. I think this is due to the fact that there is hardly any room for them once you finish dinner, lol.

Though I think I might be upset if my cookbook makes more money than my Autobiography……..

Well the third book is underway

Well I don’t rest on my butt…..I have been writing a third book, lol. I know more than one at a time, maybe I am a bit crazy. This is a CookBook, I am not a chef but I love good food. I only eat crap when I have other things going on at the same time. As I do with all my books it is available to read as I write it. So enjoy for free as I am going along with it. Photos will be coming soon as well.

Employment issues

As many of the Transcommunity know or are shocked to learn is the fact that being Trans limits the employability and the options. So what can be done? Well I started looking at my life and understanding that certain types of employment are not going to want me. In that area I started thinking what can I do on my own. looking at my existing knowledge base and skill sets. Well being a Project Manager in past I started looking at planning out the rest of my future in that aspect.

I am not one for sitting idle when I can create wealth for my small family. Yeah I know I am poor right now but it does not have to stay that way. So I started looking at what I can do to create a income. So I could go back to disability support but that has too many memories linked to my ex and all that I did. So I started looking at Community services and combining that with my existing knowledge base. Now I am going to also start looking at party plan systems. I thought maybe Makeup but that did not sit very well with me as I still am learning all the in’s and out’s of the makeup game. So I looked at Candles not a very big fan of those and open flame with Kids, lol. Next was scents, after walking away with a Migraine from being at one party for an hour. I knew right then and there I could never do that. Tupperware not on your life would I ever do that. Then I went to a friends Body Shop party. I love the body shop started thinking I could do something like that. Yeah I know they have a storefront but there was something that the party plan offered that going to the store did not and that was a personal touch. Included with someone to ask questions and it was so nice.

So let’s look at that when my kids are visiting the other parent. I have my books I am writing at the same time. So next is my future employment in community services. So I started looking at several lines of income at the same time. One of the benefits of a being single parent and healthy. So I started looking at how do I link these in the best way for our family. Well one of the starts were to talk to the account friend who suggested I look into creating a Trust. Using the Government to work for me instead of against me. Have my money go to the trust and the work within the boundaries of the Trust laws. So that is what I am in the process of doing. It is to work smarter not harder than you need to. Well I hope this helps you find some ideas that might work for you as you might be facing the same issues.

But whatever you do don’t give up, don’t quit, and don’t let the dirty bastards win. Yeah you might not like the party plan I did but there are so many of there out there just be careful in your choice. There are a few of them that are going to steal money from you and the sales requirement might not be higher than you can produce. So look at the required KPI’s (key performance indicators) to make sure you can do it. Look at you comfort level to also see if you can talk to anyone. Know what style of sales you are going to make. What I mean is if you have to be a hard sale to get the KPI’s and you don’t feel right doing the hard sale then this is not the right party plan for you.

I know that I am not able to do Tupperware because I feel most of it is a rip off and I have never had my mind changed. I will never do Amway because to me that is one big Pyramid scheme if I have ever seen one. On top of that you can paint a turd any color you want it is still a turd. It’s bloody Amway in the end……. Not known for being very LGBT friendly….


Good luck and best wishes.

WTF – Sisters

Okay, I get it that NOW you don’t like me. I get it that you don’t wish to be involved in the book I am writing of our father. But why on Gods green earth would you try to pump silly and stupid things into our father’s head with the book is even not even 1/10 of the way done. You even have him worrying that the book is going to be published without letting him have the proof copy. What kind of ethics do you think I have? Shame on you for even thinking that…..

Let’s get one thing clear and straight. You were offered to spend the time and be a part of this book for him. You were given upon our dads request this chance. But when I gave you the chance, one of you said no thank you and the other would not even say that much except saying that you agree with the other sister. Yeah I get it that one of you has her undies in a knot because I Transitioned. Well guess what you old bitty, your actions during these times really set us up to never talk again. Then you compounded it by sticking your nose into my divorce. Then the final straw was to not call me when our mother died and you were right by her side. For the last 2 or 3 years you have not endured yourself to me in any way shape or form.

Let me say this about my dad’s book I am working so very hard to tell his story in a caring, loving and professional manner. My ethics are above reproach, I will do nothing to insult his memory.  I have even gone so far as to talk to anyone who might know about him. I am even making contact with our extended family members that we have not talked to in a very long time. You really need to stop treating our father like another one of your children. He is a grown man that you are twisting around and playing mind games with. You should really be ashamed of your actions.

I was thinking that maybe I was being a bit hard on you. But you know what? I really have rethought that crazy idea and I am not. I should not have to ask you not to treat our father like a child. I should not have to ask you not to be such a fucking Hypocrite. I just don’t get it we have the same father we were all raised the same way, oh no we weren’t were we…. I guess I should call myself blessed not to be like you. What a shame for you…..

I think your issues with me being Transgender are indicative of so many stereotypical narrow minded bible thumpers in America. But at the sametime you ignore your own actions and bigotry. We might have a good amount of southern blood in us but you don’t need to bring out your burning cross unless it is to hoist yourself upon it. You know it really is sad that you are acting just like our mum right up to the end of her life. I really do feel so sorry for your loss of Humanity, it really is so….. so sad………




Project Billy update

Well I am still awake so why not work on the project billy book. Not to much but enough to get it going on the way to the next goal mark of 10k worth of words. Shocking how much that needs to be written. Not as easy as writing my story.

Hey if you have not done so already help me keep this site going by buying my book. You know the one with the link on the ——————–>>>>>>>>> buttons just over here.  I have to pay the bills somehow you never know you might just enjoy it.


Complicated –

I never thought my life would be like this. I never thought I could do so many things at the same time and know things are going to plan but at the same time feel like they are going nowhere.

On the 13th I am going back to school just something else to add to my pile of craziness. I am still writing my second and third books. I am still wanting to see my book get a little more light. I am needing to start a project management setup before this monster gets to big.

I had a setback in my plans and I am not sure which way to go now. It has rocked me a bit as I look at it. I was setting up my Family Trust account with my Accountant as part of my desired plans was to have a redundancy in place. This weekend I had that redundancy choose not to want to be involved let alone be a recipient of any benefits that might come from it. I am a bit of a loss as to why would a person turn down a possibility of future securities and to help protect family members. It has left me speechless on the whole issue.

Not that I am the type of a person who will force a person to do something against the will of another. I think I might need a bit of a plan change but I don’t know what, who or which changes to make. I am completely confused on this complication. I do know that this is part of being me and some of the choices I have had to make.

Payment is always due at some point……

I won’t be shocked if I see sometime in the future several hands palms up asking for money when they ignore me now. Why did it have to be come some complicated?

Information about the US

I tried to get these in the right order. I would advise if you can vote with your feet if you are having issues where you live move to a safe state. If you are planning a visit to the US also look at the laws in that state or area you are going to visit for your own safety. I have a feeling thanks to Trump this might only get worse.


And they came for Transgender People

 This is a news story I came across today. It is something to think about. It is something to be concerned about. It is another reason I am vocal. It is called “And they came for Transgender People” it was written by Brynn Tanehill and posted on Huffington Post



When the anti-transgender student bill in South Dakota passed, it was the first step in a plan to eradicate transgender people from American life. Last year, the Family Research Council laid out a five point plan to legislate transgender people out of existence by making the legal, medical, and social climate too hostile for anyone to transition in.


1. States and the federal government should not allow legal gender marker changes.

2. Transgender people should not have any legal protections against discrimination, nor should anyone be forced to respect their identity.

3. Transgender people should not be legally allowed to use facilities in accordance with their gender identity.

4. Medical coverage related to transition should not be provided by the government, or any other entity.

5. Transgender people should not be allowed to serve in the military.


Stop for a moment here, and imagine a world where you can’t get an accurate government ID. A world where you can’t vote, can’t drive without risking arrest, and can’t get a job. You cannot prove that you are who you are, because no one will believe your ID is real. You will never be treated as your correct gender by any government agency. What ID you have will constantly out you as transgender, inviting discrimination. Perfectly legal discrimination, if part two of their plan succeeds.


Now imagine being constantly outed as transgender in this world where the law explicitly states that you are a target. Imagine having that scarlet A on every ID you possess making it clear that the bearer of this card is sub-human and has no rights: fire them, kick them out of their home, refuse to serve them, take their children away, verbally abuse them for your amusement at work—it’s all good. The religious “liberty” to abuse, harass, and humiliate transgender people reigns supreme in the Family Research Council’s brave new transgender-free world.


Now imagine being transgender, and that on top of being legally un-personed, jobless, homeless, harassed, and hated, you’ll be arrested for using a bathroom. Use one bathroom, and it’s a felony. Use the other, and you’re likely to be beaten, maybe to death. If you fight back against your attackers, you’ll go to a prison for people of the opposite gender, that guarantees you will continue to be raped, beaten, and denied medical care.

Imagine that on top of all of this, you can’t get treatment for gender dysphoria other than (medically debunked, ineffective, counter-productive) religious-based reparative therapy.

Unable to medically transition, the only proven treatment for gender dysphoria, you’re marked constantly as being transgender. Not only does your ID mark you as an undesirable, everything on the outside of your body does too.

To add insult to injury, you can’t even join the Army to escape the inevitable poverty and homelessness that accompanies being transgender under the their plan.


Given all of these factors, the goal of the FRC couldn’t be clearer: transgender people must be eradicated from American life. Either stay in the closet, or be un-personed in a legal sense. Trans people who transition will marginalized in education, and shoved towards the underground economy. Transgender people will be forced to disappear to where all the other ragged people go: into storm drains, under bridges, and to encampments on the fringes of society. The Family Research Council and Republicans know full well that most transgender people, when faced with the certainty of personal ruin, will remain alone, in the closet, for life.

However short that may be.


The transgender community will be effectively be eradicated legislatively. And that’s exactly what they’re aiming for: to morally legislate transgender people out of existence. Call it cultural genocide if you will, it still means the effective extermination of a class of people.


Yesterday, in South Dakota, legislators enacted one part of the FRC’s plan to rid America of transgender people. Schools will enact “reasonable accommodations” that make it nearly impossible to use the bathroom, in the hopes that transgender students will quit.


The law, as written, considers it a reasonable accommodation to make a kid “hold it” until a teacher is available to escort them to a bathroom like some sort of suspected 7-year-old sex offender. Or to have to walk to a bathroom under a stadium three blocks away, through a snow storm, to pee. Or to simply be told, “there’s no bathrooms here you’re allowed to use, so you’ll have to leave the school. Permanently.”


If you think for a moment that no adult would do such a thing, try watching 14 year old transgender girl Jazz Jennings reading the threats from adults to torture and murder her. Talk to most parents of transgender children, and they can tell you all about the threats they receive from community members to kill their child if they find them in a girls’ bathroom. Now consider again, how far of a stretch is it just force a child to leave school in comparison?


When conservatives saw an opportunity to eradicate transgender people, they went after the children first. Early on they want to send the message that you need to be straight, or get out of their society. Or perhaps they targeted children because it’s much easier to make transgender people disappear if you do it to them before they can fight back effectively.


Suffer the little children is apparently a commandment in South Dakota. I always heard it quoted as “suffer the little children to come unto me”. Unless you’re a trans kid, apparently, and then it’s just “suffer”.


Across the country, laws making it impossible to get accurate identification, to safely use bathrooms, laws nullifying protections, and most of all laws targeting the safety and well-being of transgender children are being heard, and passed, by legislatures. They are part of a well-funded, well-orchestrated attempt by the Family Research Council, Liberty Counsel, and Alliance Defending Freedom to erase transgender people from American life.

Let’s stop calling these bathroom bills. Let’s stop calling these an anti-transgender bills. Let’s call them what they are:

Instruments of cultural genocide.


Now, who will speak up, and when? More importantly, who will speak up for you when the FRC puts out its next five-point fatwa against some new class of people they want eliminated?


And you’re next in line.


Are you scared yet? If not you should be.

I am scared, I am concerned

Okay I know it is easy to see that I am no friend of Trump! I am no friend of the KKK! I am no friend of those who might attack or belittle a person with a Disability. If you have a problem with this read my questions. Answer them then I will….I already did it is at the bottom

Okay answer me this would you accept a survivor (or their family) of a death camp who is concerned about Trumps actions ? Would you accept a survivor of the london bombing who might be concerned about Trump? Would you accept a Native American who is concerned about Trump? Would you accept an Immigrant to the US or the children of that person? Would you accept a person who has Family or member who fled to the US without permission? A parent with a child who has a Disability? Would you accept a member of the LGBT community?
If you answer Yes to those then why defend him?
If you answer No then tell me why my voice is not valid? (Because I am a few of those)


crap now I have to get back to writing…….

Busy busy busy

If you ever think of writing a book DO IT! while it is so very hard and time consuming it is worth it. Last couple of days have seen the book I am working on go from 2000 words to close to 6000 in 2-3 days. I make goals when writing a book each is a milestone then I double the amount first is at 5000 10,000 20,000 40,000 well you get the point. While writing my book it was not as hard as I thought it would be. Then as i sat down on my father’s book it was a real rude eye opener. Researching and trying to pull out the information that he has locked away. I sometimes wish my dad was an open book it would be a lot easier to write his story but then it might not be worth it…..

Other than that there has not been to much going on except that fact that my book is selling well. I am loving the reviews that are coming and and all the excitement around it.

——–> Kindle / Amazon has opened up a few pages for people to read online have a go give it a start ——> call it a gift from me to you ——-> the arrows are pointing to the buttons ———————–>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I know you will enjoy the book give it a go, you never know you might like it. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Over here>