The more I transition, the more I understand. What I don’t have in common with Men.

This subject started off from a new friend walking the same path as I.

I have been taking the time and looking at personalities of Men and Transwomen. This is not done in a blind study or anything fancy it is just my observations. I am going to try to break it apart in a few simple areas. But I am going to be using myself and maybe a couple of others (no names).

AGE

I think it is important that we take a long look at age vs. transition. The reason for this is that the more a Trans person has to act the role the more personality traits become ingrained into their lives. For example (using myself) at the time of writing this I am 47. When it comes to cars I love the sound of a V8 tuned up and roaring to life. This is something I fell in love with working on a few motors over the years. If I would have been able to transition much earlier in life I would not have fallen in love with that sound because I would have spent more time and years doing thing more associated with women. But the funny thing is I hate the feel of grease (but love the musical).

Temperament

We all have issues with anger and don’t waste my time trying to say you don’t. Anger comes in so many different forms. Though like my dad I have a level that hits and roofs will be taken off when I reach it. Mind you I save it for times when righteous anger is needed. This is a manly trait very few women have I ever known to reach the level of self explosion. I think if I would have Transitioned earlier in life this might not have been an issues as most women are taught to be a meeker and milder group. Though say this I would like to point out that I do have a few Spanish women in our family and even I know you don’t cross a Spanish momma, lol.

Emotional Intelligence 

This hit me very hard a few months ago when a very special person who I know in a few different circles said “Wow Ally, you are so different now. You used to be so angry” I walked away and thought very hard on what she said. I think that storing all those emotions is a very manly trait as I was never able to release in case of showing the weakness that was so very clear to me. As I started my Transition I began to see that even to this day I still bottle it all up until I have to let it out. Where the norm should be talk it over with my girl friends and spills it out for better health, but it is not something I have ever done (I am learning).
I have never had a problem with empathy, which most men unless taught miss those clues or are not able to connect.

Mannerisms

This is one I think with age comes the issues of unlearning “Bad habits”. For example sitting correctly to avoid the “Man gap” Sitting with your legs wide apart. This is something we teach our daughters not to do because it is not “Lady Like”. Ways of eating and the amount that are eaten. Drinking anything…..I hate straws I always have but lipstick lasts longer with them.

 

You see even though to most of us in Transition may be trying to live life as close to the ways we think we should. We forgotten the fact that we are all different that media has also played a huge part in what we think and feel is the correct way to act and respond. Now just because I have pointed out a few issues out of the hundreds. Does not mean that being Trans is a phase or a choice. What I am trying to point out is that the more you act like something the more you can become like it even though at the base of it all you still are not that something. Accept who you are even if it means like me you are a V8 girl who loves doing my nails. In this life there is no real right or wrong in the sense of being a man, woman or even a Transperson. The only wrong is trying to be something you are not. To that I remind you “to thine own self be true – Polonius (Hamlet)”

I am Trans and I am okay with that!

 

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