Well, I know the blog has been suffering due to my current lifestyle choices, meaning I want one……Ha ha ha.
But really I have been going to school and it has been a bit in Depth at the same time I am beating my head up against a wall with one of my books. It is not writer block it is people block. Part of the issues I am learning about being a writer is that when writing about people sometimes they can shut off the excitement and then you have to wait until they are ready to proceed.
I am still working on the cookbook and a few design changes to the way it looks. SO it has hit a small slump. But on exciting news I have been asked to write another book about being Trans. This invite came from a publisher so I got very excited and then chose self publishing as I like the control over my writings. I came up with two ideas for new books and since it is my areas of knowledge I think I should be able to get it going rather fast.
The first one is going to be Humor based dealing with Trans issues. Then I am going to write a another book called “Leaves”. I am not going to tell you to much about that book as I am really excited about that idea. Keep your eyes open as I am also not writing these on the site I am writing them in word at home or where ever I might get some time.
So while you think I have forgotten you my wonderful readers you have never been far from my mind. Please take good care of yourselves!
Case in point I am Transgender surprise and I am also a parent of 3 kids under 12 (I don’t worry so much about the adult ones). I am also blessed top have an attorney who was amazing and in my divorce we have 50/50 custody and better yet it is working.
This week my oldest of the three went on his first camping trip away from his family and I missed him so much. But just before change over with the other parent I was able to see him come back from camp. I got the biggest hug, Oh how I needed that. We talked over how it went and he had a wonderful time.
This week I came across another event and that was a conversation with some classmates of mine and it touched a lot on being Trans. Some questions we a bit revealing but if you ask I will answer you. During this conversation I expressed my sexual attraction is still towards women (even though there was a real funny moment, but that I will leave for another post). We talked about how I am just not so sure about men and it does not really have the same emotional pull that women do. But this one member of the class was singled out by me when I said “Gosh D you and a very good looking man but there is no spark there” His kind and warm comment back made me feel so nice right down to my core. But that is something I want to keep close to my heart and it was so beautiful.
This week weird and wonderful events just kept happening all over the place. People using the right pronouns, just at the right time. New friends that keep asking to be added to my Facebook. New people reading my book and saying “Hey, thank you for writing your story”
What I am trying to say is sometimes blessings take sometime to get to you. But they do and sometimes you end up looking at all the blessings and saying holy shit is this really happening to me. I have a good friend that is been in my life for about a year, so thankful for her. Then I have this other friend who she also has been in my life and makes me feel like she should have been my sister (at least one who I can talk with).
So in the end Yeah life can be hard but the Hidden blessing are there.
Well lets have a bit of a chat about this past month. Well if you have been following the abnormal blog posts on my day to day you would have heard that I had a severe reaction to the patches. Well this month has been learning how the reaction played havoc with my system. I had to let the reaction part that was cause my problems learn my system. Detoxing can take upwards of two weeks even while learning to deal with the new meds at the same time. While I will say I was okay with the progress of the Patches but I think I should have said something a long time ago. My Testosterone levels have always been low to the acceptable level. But the Estrogen levels due to fighting the reaction were not reacting as best they could have.
So now that you have caught up on the past lets look this month while on the “Pill” yup I am on the “Pill” the reaction to it has been a bit of a shock to the system. I have an emotional outburst today that left me feeling in the aftermath of it very shocked. I have been having emotional outburst in tears due to issues that relationship issues that I now face. I have been coming to terms with being single again and not know who and how to date. In the past I would have just said “Oh well it will work itself out” but this time has been very different and the increased hormone activity has been really powerful. Causing a lot of tears and confusion.
Let me say this right off the bat I HATE CHOCOLATE. It has never been a thing for me, unless it is peanut butter cups the mini ones. But any other is just a snack that I can live without. But this month has been crazy. I don’t want it I have a deep need to have it. There is no base logic I can find in the NEED for Chocolate, but heaven help the person that says no to me about a small bite of it.
I hate TV, but if I see another commercial on YouTube of Facebook that makes me end up in tears I will find you and I will have some not so nice things to say to you face. Crying over these stupid things it pushing it a bit far.
Then my son placed his head on my chest during a hug and I almost fell apart with the pain. OMG it felt like someone placed my tit in a vice of it was way to much. I had to back away top stop from crying in pain.
SO yeah this past month was filled with a lot of learning.