Last night while I was ill I had this idea to see if I could find my first ex-wife. Oh no shocker, I have been married more that 2 times. So while I was looking for her I found her mother’s obituary. We were very young and dumb kids who should never had tried to play house. In the end that is exactly what we did, for a short time. I really did feel for my ex and her loss of her mother. It is really hard to deal with the losses we experience when it is family or close friends.
I started to noticed that when I dug deeper, she really had taken charge of her life and changed. I was so very happy for her in these changes. I even found myself forgiving the issues of the past and forgiving her. It was a wonderful moment in time when you are able to release the past. I looked at myself and thought gee Ally you have come a long way to be able to forgive.
I looked at her photo and felt something different. I thought to myself for a short time. What I came to was, hoping that she was as happy as her photo suggested. I found out that she had remarried and was working in a stable job. I even think she has a couple of children. Like I said I really do hope that her life has improved. I felt at peace…..
So where is this wisdom I suggest. Well simple, while time does not heal all wounds it does allow us to change. To a point where we are at peace with the scars that remain. This also does not mean you need to be friends with those that hurt you. For that in itself is foolish. But forgiveness while hard is an ability to heal ourselves.
I know that I say this while I have not yet been able to forgive my own flesh-n-blood. But I think in time I might be able to. Though at this moment in time, I am not ready as the wounds are so very real and painful. I hope that someday I will be able to look at them and say, I hope the best for them as well. I want to be able to walk the path of peace when I can forgive them. I think in time it to will come as the same with my ex, just a flash in time. A look at a photo and a happy thought might cross my mind. But only time will tell I guess…..