I once said not every pitch goes the way we want. A few months ago I was on a path that was leading me to a deadline that I made to have a book ready for print in the middle of 2018. The batter stepped up the the plate and here came the pitch as wild as it could have been. Then the hit was right out into left field. The fielder was in a dead run he knew he could pull off a miracle catch if he could just keep his feet under him. Then just like that, just like his thought he tripped. Going head over heels, in a moment of quick thinking he tucked and turned it into a roll and quickly got back up in time to extend his arm and make the greatest catch in his life.
This is exactly what has happened in these last few months. My beautiful Daughter was the pitcher. Life was the batter and she threw a wild one. Life being hard in her young life hit that wild ball and gave her Suicidal Thoughts. That ball flew off into left field leaving her feeling lost and hopeless. But like every great outfielder who has saved a game I was running to catch that ball. I tripped and tucked my head and turned it into a roll I extended my arm and Caught that wicked ball before it hit the ground and ended the game. Our teams rallied behind our pitcher. She had just finished a long and hard game with only this one stumble which turned out not to be her fault the ball was warped.
We are now back at practice all the team is there right behind her. Trusting her to continue to trust us as we battle every demon that might come our way together…
I once thought that Sexual Assault was just something that could easily be overcome. That was until it touched our families life. I don’t know any other word for the feelings that surge through my veins except Anger. The Anger that resides to the actions that changed my daughter. The Anger that a young man got away with it. The Anger that I am working with my Daughter without the other parents help. The Anger that resides in the fact that the young man will do it again because no one taught him it was wrong. The Anger that I cannot snap my fingers and make it all better.
She asked my why I was not back to writing. I did not have the heart to tell her that the reason was because I was upset that she was struggling with a Demon that I knew from a long time ago as well. I guess I am lucky in a way that I understand what it is like to be a child with those thoughts. Unlike my parents I am working hard to open the lines of communication with her. We talk every night she is home about the feelings and how we can push those thoughts to just being a thought. We can find reasons and people to talk with who listen and care for us. I am so blessed to be on a team with my Daughter. I am so blessed to be there for her when a wild ball happens. I love the feeling the hugs I get when she knows that I am here to back her up always.
The team and I got her some help with those wild pitches and in time she will master them as well. I am once again back to writing, feeling a bit better about all that is going on. I love that little Pitcher of mine…..