Good news

Well I am right on schedule to releasing book 2. But this time it is not as simple as telling a story. This time it is about creating an epic adventure that everyone can join in. I am going to be releasing a Role Playing game. A week ago I tested my Game with some wonderful people. We are currently in Pre-Publish version of the Game at 1.2 we expect to have the second test of the game 6th of November followed by the 2.0 version.

Well i really do need to get back to working on the project but I thought I would just give everyone an update. If you are in the US. GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND VOTE! The time to stop the Monsters that have been elected is at hand before it becomes to late to act.

I also want to say a heart felt sadness to the lives once again lost by the senseless violence at another shooting. The Jewish community are no different than a school full of children or any other place. Stop thinking that a gun is worth more than a life. Stop making excuses for not acting. The blood of those who have died because nothing was done is on your hands, America….

What have I done to myself

Oh Myyyyyy…..

I would not have ever thought I would get back into self defense. I thought I was done with that stage of my life. I should have known better when one of my best friends asked to enrol my children in Jiu-Jujitsu. Here we are two years later and many changes have taken place. Gabriel one of my sons is a Yellow belt in the sport and has moved towards a more aggressive side of BJJ. My lovely daughter is about to exit a younger class in exchange for going to an all women’s club that opened in our town. Hezekiah is still going strong in his club.

Well if you have been reading my blog you have read that I joined a all women’s club on their invitation. Well someone smack me I am thinking of joining a full club as the all women’s club does not do grading and I want to know more (okay another habit). But I plan on staying at the all women’s club as well. BJJ is so different when I sat on the sidelines it did not really click with me. Now that I have been on the mat and have had a few Rolls. I can see the respect that everyone has for each other or at least the ladies do. Yeah I am Trans and they don’t care. So now I am planning out how I am going to do this on my limited budget as I need to get Gabriel a new Gi first and into his new school uniform.

But I am also very nervous about being around new people in close proximity to my space bubble. It is a very strange feeling being openly scared of men. That sense where I used to respond with equal aggression is now gone. I even find my sense of trust at night has changed as well. I guess by joining a BJJ club I want to regain some of that sense of security that I am needing. A few weeks ago I had an event that scared the living shit out of me. I was just going to Grocery store and a guy was drunk and giving me some issues. I stood my ground but when I got home I crumbled and it was so very scary. I miss having that sense of understanding that I am safe. Now I am not safe and I am concerned when I am alone. Though no more going to the store late at night…..

Though good news a book will be released by end of year…..

Hey you….

Hey you out their all alone wondering why i’ll never call let me tell you.

I hate people reading this. But sometimes people need to learn to stand up for what is right. So by an example I will write this to you as an open letter. A long time ago I would have done anything for you. I would have given marrow for someone who is now gone. I even offered.
You broke my heart and my trust and now you say to my children that you were fearful that you would not hear from them until they were adults. Did you know that all you ever had to do was to say sorry to me. I would have forgiven you but not forgotten. Now you not only went behind my back and talked to my children without my blessing. You continue to stand with those who you should not stand with. Never once seeking forgiveness from me.
If it would have been my choice you would have never heard from them ever. But I have taught my children that there are always three sides to every story. Your’s, Mine and somewhere in the middle is the Truth. I have taught them if you have questions ask, dig and investigate. Then make a choice on what you believe, but be flexible because you might be wrong. I am Steel with you.
If stealing something that can never be replaced was not enough. If calling something yours that is mine, is not enough. If outing me was not enough. If calling me names was not enough. If ignoring blood was not enough. You talked to my children without talking to me, First.
I know you read, because my tracking software tells me. Let me make this perfectly clear to you. You tweaked one of my children so bad that I don’t even know my Grandchildren, let alone her. You tweaked her so bad that she hates me without even knowing me. You are not welcome to talk to these three children. You can’t be trusted, you know that hurts me to say that than the willingness to forgive you. So let me make this perfectly clear to you.
You think your family, your not even worth the salt in my urine. Stay away from my children, we don’t associate with people like you…..