The fall out

As a person who tends to say what I think. I need to make clear that my choice to be 100% honest and up front with everything and everyone yields results that I am not always ready for. Yes there are times in my life that this has caused problems for me. But in saying that at least people know what they are getting when they deal with me on a daily basis. For good or bad I am me.

I know that I might suggest that everyone takes the same approach to life. BUt this can be very difficult and even at times very unwise. Case in point, one of my children calls the other parent a “Gold Digger” on a regular basis. Their reasons for this are sound and they feel they have enough evidence to back up this statement. We have had conversations on keeping our opinions to ourselves when it directly involves another person. The reason for that is saying such a thing to a person might trigger a response and an action that my child is not ready for.

We see a lot of the time about children and some adults telling others about their LGBT+ status. I am somewhat of the mindset that by doing so they place themselves at an unacceptable risk. We have seen and read about it over the years where a child tells the parent that they are Gay or whatever. Then that parent kicks the child out or even worse violence ensues. Certain times we must measure our choices with possible outcomes and the risks that are associated with them. I have lost contracts as a project manager when I have spoken the truth without thinking of the risks of that truth. Okay I called a major shareholder an idiot for their thoughts on a given subject. It was the truth and the person had no concept on what they were talking about. Everyone in the room appeared to be thinking it. I just happened to be the person that said it. But the rule applies the person with the gold makes the rules. You don’t have to like that rule you just need to understand that it is real and people use it all the time. I know as a parent I have said “It is my house and my rules.” once again the rule of the gold.

Was my hard line needed for that point, yes. Because a child wanted to take something to the other parents house and I knew it would never return. As in the past this has happened and it hurt the child when the other parents actions would not allow it to return. Did the child think on the same lines of thoughts no. The same can be said when we look at talking about being a member of the LGBT+ community. You need to be 100% sure you are safe. That your future is planned to a point where telling that Truth about you can be done safely. If that means waiting until you are out of your parents house with an education. Then be smart and do it that way. I also know that being transgender at times is very difficult if you have dysphoria. But there are ways to approach these topics as well. None of them are just blurting it out. I learned the hard way one that as it lead to violence from the parent I told.

So to wrap it all up be smart in using the complete honesty idea. Sometimes being upfront and pulling no punches approach is not a wise choice. You can still be 100% honest but be smart about when you do it. Don’t just blurt out “Are you and idiot?” that does not always go down well. To this day that guy still hates me. I was in the wrong that day for what I said and how I said it. It all boils down to choice and the timing of what we say.

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