This is my HRT program and the impact on me to this point. I am going to be friendly and warn you that not all of my writing is “G” rated so if you are not able or will to handle that don’t read this part.
So my first step was 30 days of Spiractin. The use of this testosterone blocker I did not see anything going on with my body during the first 30 days.
The next 30 days, my next step was to start on Estraderm Patches with Spiractin. I love the patches and here is why. using the pills will go through your liver. With so many issues in being Trans the last thing I want is liver problems. Then remembering that I need to take them everyday for me is hard enough with the other pills. I started to “feel” a little different about 3 weeks into taking Spiractin. I did not get the tears or become an emotional outburst. Despite going through a horrific divorce at the same time. It was more like a calming of the voices that we all face with the Dysphoria. I did start to also see a slow down on hair growth of Facial, leg and chest hair. Penis issues still are there, meaning erections at strange times.
Being that I am an old Transwoman growing breast tissue can be a bit of a challenge. I started by doing Japanese Breast Massage.The theory on this is that it can help with breast growth during puberty. I know I was thinking the same thing who was going to teach there child this type of information. But what they have also found that it helps remove the toxins in the lymph nodes. Mind you this is not a fun thing to do when your breasts are sore and growing.
I have also not changed my diet it that much my fat intake is still a bit higher than I wanted as well. But the school of thought is to look at a large amount of females when going through puberty are going to gain some weight. By doing this I am not trying to fight to many battles at the same time.
The second month
Full time HRT program During the first couple of week not much changed. About the 3-4 week I started to have a deeper sense of myself and things that were around me and the feelings of others. Some skin issues started to change I used to have REALLY bad dry elbows, it was at this time that I noticed that this problem was gone. Nothing changed with my body hair as far as stopping. I started getting people say that I look and act happier than I have been the in past. I am not sure if that is the hormones or the fact that my environment had changed.Still keeping up with the breast massage and the higher fat intake.
OMG! I am starting to have joint pain and muscle pain. Now I was not told on this by anyone or in any of my reading. Let me explain with the HRT you are changing you body by force. Skin changes, stresses change, emotions change, fat changes, muscles change, hair changes, body hair changes, Breast grow. This is all that I started to go through during this month. I started crying at tv shows, youtube videos, major events in my life, and the dumbest thing TV commercials. OH boobs! the pain has set in. Sore without a bra, and people noticed if you are wearing the wrong type of a top. Still keeping up with the breast massage and the higher fat intake.
oh the pain I had to go to my doctor for pain meds as panadol was not cutting it at all. So I am trying not to use those unless it wakes me up at night. Hair growth has slowed a lot. Something weird started this month my taste attraction have changes I used to be a big savory type of person not really enjoying Chocolate as much as others. One night at some screwed up hour I needed CHOCOLATE. I had to have it I could not think of anything else. Then a few days later colors started to look different. Not in a bad way but more in a way that I started to notice the hues of items more and the ways some of the colors on a flower can be hypnotic going from a vibrate red to a dark blood red color. Yes I have known they do this as I have been an airbrush artist. I was not ready for this. I was sitting at a friends house enjoying an afternoon tea with the ladies. When these amazing purples on this flower caught my eye and I just kept looking at them. I was watching the yellow and black of the bees flying in and out at the same time, it was breath taking. Smells have changed I can not pickup smells from places that I have never noticed before. I was driving and all of a sudden a large smell of BO drifted in to my car from the open window. I saw a man walking and that was the only reason I could attach to it. It was sicking, it was so bad. But I have caught other smells as well that were overpowering in shopping. I can see what some of the supermarkets do to women to get them to buy stuff. Still keeping up with the breast massage and the higher fat intake.
I also started taking Vitamins to help with a few changes that are going on it was advised. Oh and crap I am at the stage that my boobs are big enough that I bump them into things now lol, SHIT it hurts when I do, lol.
I am in my Fifth month and I am loving the changes… I will tell you at the end of the 30 days. Opps, this is something that has also been a little issue that I have been trying to deal with and that is if I don’t write it I tend to forget it now. For someone like me who has in the past had a great memory it is a bit scary but after talking it over with the right people it is a hormone based issue. OGM my boobs are killing me, I am tried of all the crack pot ideas to fix the pain (shudda yer face, i donna wanna hear it) I love the pain in a weird way it is very liberating to know that these changes are taking place in my body. Not the memory issue I don’t like that. Ok some more changes I have been seeing CLEAVAGE that is something not used to with man boobs look and feel different. The changes in my body hair are still evolving as well. The arm hair is getting lighter and less coarse. Chest hair has also slowed down and some is all together gone.
Still seeing a bit of changes in Colors, smells and tastes. Taste is a weird thing that has changes I am not very used to that. The colors are simply amazing and I can’t stress enough that men just don’t get it. I am getting fat on my Hips now as well. As for the butt issues I am still hoping that will happen. Emotional issues, crying a little bit more when sad things happen. Give you an Example this past week I was called a Rapist by my ex-to-be to a court appointed family reporter even though it was false and I am slowly getting over her attack it hurt like a Mother F*&^er. I started to cry and wow did the tears flow. It has taken me a bit longer to get over this issue as in the past it was “she being stupid” this time it was more like someone ripped my heart out stepped on it, then drove over it, lit it on fire, then placed it back in my Chest. I went to my friends house, and we defused the feelings that were being felt at the time, even then it took hours. So part of what I am thinking is that some of the changes are that I am now holding on to emotional stuff far longer than I have ever do in the past.
I have had a few issues with Gas, yup I said it Farts. It is one thing to fart it is another thing what is going on, I swear I could put a hole in the chair. Cramps oh dear god the cramps, I don’t think all of women’s cramps come from their periods. Muscle pain wow in my knees and shoulders had to get some drugs. Wow new problem that I have not dealt with since I left the US and that is just sleeping problems so now I fall asleep with a sound app. Still keeping up with the breast massage and the higher fat intake.
So here we are a major milestone has been reached. So what changes have taken place. Well for starters skin has taken a huge turn to become more and more soft. Thus hand textures hand soften. Where once I could see my fingerprints now they are still there but very hard to find. Nails have started to grow faster. Arm hair has reduced to the point where it is looking more like what you see on a woman’s arm. Elbows has softened and now are not dry at all. Under arm hair huge reduction. Chest hair has retarded a bit more but has not stopped. Hair near the nipple has not changed as far as growth speed. Hair on legs has slowed down as well. Breast growth is slow but steady going with out a bra is not wise. Back hair I had waxed off due to it had not fallen out as of yet. I also have seen regrowth rate is slowing.
OK the penis has not changed in size or girth but the testicles have reduced in size. The issue of erectile functions in the morning have stopped as well as at times when you are not needing them. They can still become erect with issues of sexual attractions. Though all loss of fluids is now present. Issues of sexual attraction have also change, I’m finding that I have become more and more asexual. As simple issues of attraction no longer work. Porn is not an effective stimulus. Though conversation has resulted in a different type of stimulus I’m finding it as a deeper attractions.
Creativity has grown as I am not interested in visual media such as TV. I am finding that the blog has become more and more important as I release my creative side in writing. .
Emotions, I have not yet felt to surge of youthful emotions that come with Puberty. I have been expecting unreasonable amount of thiat junk once more but to be plain and simple I have not had any problems. Memory recall has been a bit slower but it does come in time where before the HRT I was able to recall information very fast now I sit and think of stuff for a small amount of time. Muscle memory is still fast and present, even with the loss of minor muscle tone. Still keeping up with the breast massage and the higher fat intake.
Edited*** I forgot something about my skin, on the sides of my nose near the nostrils used to be where I would get huge oil deposits and pimples. This has dried up and looks fantastic.
Well that is month six. I don’t think I have left anything out…..
Well here we are over the hump of six months and completing 7 months. Well I would like to wow you with amazing new information and exciting changes. I think you might be shocked as this has been a fairly calm month. I have only seen a continued changed ion Breast development. I will have to say that fr0om all of the information about Breast development stories I was really thinking that this part of my transition would be a bit more on the painful side. I am not saying that there is no pain far from that but it is not one where I would be reaching for Panadol pain relief. If you were to hold a 50 cent coin over my nipples that would be the area of the most sensitive area. I can feel the milk ducts changing under the skin in that area. I have not had and issues of Lactating or strange sores or “bumps”. I think I have seen some changes to the nipples themselves but it is very small. Still keeping up with the breast massage and the higher fat intake.
Hair on body, well this is a part I am a bit let down I was hoping a faster rate of loss and a complete loss in back hair. I still have some of the body hair but it has continued to slow. I think I will have to have my back waxed again soon, though i really have not taken the time to look as we are heading in to winter months. Leg hair nope I dont care if it is winter or not that is coming I HATE leg hair.
Hormonal rages….. Well I just have not had a single one or anything like that. So I cannot give any information on that.
Like I said this has been a very calm month.
Well it is here and I am more than happy to say boobs are growing fine still. The itches at times are enough to drive me nuts. I have had a few other issues as well I having maintained that I am attracted to Women and I can’t stand the though of a hairy person hugging me or trying to control me. But I met this wonderful person and for some strange reason my heart just went BOOM!. I have paused my laser hair removal and it has been due to that I have only white hair left and the laser does not work with those. So I am trying to find a dye that will color the hair to the best dark color I can. as I shared a study on it in the info page. Still keeping up with the breast massage and the higher fat intake.
I am thinking of talking to my endocrinologist about why I am still getting back hair after this long. All my blood tests are coming back fine without any issues. I saw a new counselor this month and was told that after all I have been through I am doing well. My Depression is in check and that I am working out the issues from the abuse well. My mental health is improving. I love those words. I was told that I don’t need to talk to her for sometime maybe a check in, in a few months.
Patches have been giving me a bit of grief due to the glue on the skin but you will have to work out where is the best area for it. My hair has been growing in really nice when strait it is just past my ears now. I have been taking Hair, Skin and nails to help, it is a good idea if you are starting your transition due to the fact that you whole body changes. I have a few problems with my nails as well. My Hair was breaking but that was mostly due to the stress of all that I have been going through.
I also had a few new issues where people were making passes at me.I was not handling them very well as it is new for me to be the object of someones ideas. I did also notice a person trying the whole if I say this about you I can do a money scam on you. That ended fast it is not like I fell off the turnip truck yesterday. Well at least when someone I trusted said I was a beautiful woman this month I blushed and felt so nice. I was in heaven, almost walking on air.
I was sitting here today think wow it has been 9 months. I was even so lucky today was given a call by Doctor. She told me today of my levels and that my Testosterone Levels are less than 1 and my body has taken to the Estrogen with ease. So I looked at what took place this month and there are not many changes that have taken place. Breasts have continued to grow. I am getting a bit of the puffy nipples as well. One day it might be the right and the next the left then I get a small break then the itching begins. Fat is moving downward and no hips but the Butt is getting it. Skin still soft and hair is growing like mad. Though I can start to understand a few nightmares of long hair. SO over all not much has been going on as far as body changes this month. Still keeping up with the breast massage and the higher fat intake.
It is a fun fact that when your boobs start to itch without reason they are growing. This month has been filled with the itches. Like that episode where he saves off his chest hair and acts like the wolfman when it starts to grow back…..Yup I have had to make sure no one sees me scratching away. I have seen some changes in the nipples as well the areolas has been growing as well. Same color but they are a bit puffy at times. The size of the circle is growing as well. Because of Chest hair that is slowing stopping some hairs around the areolas still grow and might continue to some time. This can be an issue due to wearing bras with ingrown hairs. The size of my breasts has grown as well. Male waist line is starting to change as well. this is the middle period that I have read about where some Transitioning people might have the two waistline effect / issue. In time this will go, and you should start to see the single waistline.
I have also noticed a shift in thinking this month. I have noticed a shift towards finding a more open heart towards the ones who have (I feel) wronged by. I have always tried to be forgiving but it has been a battle at times though. Right now I am able to find a new look at forgiveness based upon what could I say nice about a person if they had passed away.
The veins in my feet and legs have become less pronounced as well. I have also see that in the forearms. I have also noticed a reduction in hair on the chest and back. Arm hair is now lighter and finer, the color has changed as well. I have been still going to IPL and getting that done I have had 3 sessions so far and face is looking better.
Back to a diet plan, I was a very bad person and went back to drinking Coke and gained weight back that I had lost sometime ago. Still keeping up with the breast massage and the higher fat intake.
Wow wow wow…. I am looking at the changes that is going on for this month. Well welcome to fun side HRT baby. Sleep is not my best friend right now. Dreams have become a bit more vivid at times. Boobs hurt like crazy. Hair and Nails are growing so fast it is crazy. Still in the battle with Coke, though drinking Sprite instead for one week then it is back to water only. I am very pleased with my progress right now. 2016 has so far been an okay year. I have looked at where I am at in terms of my goals and they are going a bit slower than I would like but I will manage that at I move through my 5 year plan. My skin has become so soft I am so happy right now in the grand scheme of things. I get scrapes and cuts a lot more now. My arm hair has gone blonde to white can hardly see it. Still keeping up with the breast massage and the higher fat intake. For Information sake I am about an A-B cup now.
Well this is it the 1 year mark. So what has happened in the last month? Well I like to say everything is going just peachy. But being honest on this Transition and I cannot tell you that everything is. But the hormones are going well, breast development is going well, Fat redistribution is going well, reduction of body hair is going well, and I even think that I have been learning a lot about my body this month. Breast tissues is very sore and can see that it is growing. There is a bit of peace that I have never known before in my life. Still keeping up with the breast massage and the higher fat intake.
Puffy nipples there are times I think my boobs are stalling. Then boom to sore to touch and puffy nipples appear. I am starting to see a rounding in the breasts now. Body hair is still slowing down. Sense of smell is still changing. Gosh BO I can pickup that smell so fast now and on top of it upset my tummy a bit. I have a lot of tears writing my book coming to stories of my life that were hard on me. In the past I before the hormones those same stories were easy to shrug off as part of the life.
Wow what a month this has been I am a person that does wear my heart on my sleeve. No matter how much I try this is something that has grown a bit with the HRT. For example I was reading this story today about a Sexual Assault that took place on Tribal lands in the US and how the Tribe did what needed to be done and in the end the amazing respect was given to the victim and the punishment was in the end given to the women to handle. They held him down and cut off his braids, then turned him over to the Police. I broke down cried it hurt so much to have the flash back of my little girls telling what happened to her. It felt like it just happened. I would have to say the HRT has caused a few issues with my memory. Some things are just that much more vivid.
I have been having issues this month with the Breast tissues no being as sore as they have in the past but they are still developing. My hips have been changing a bit, getting wider but where is my bum, lol. I have been seeing a large growth in my hair.
I am still working with the breast massage and starting to decrease the fat intake. I will start the exercise part of my development. This part will focus on the waistline and the legs, I will be avoiding the upper body work as that has still a large amount of bulk that I would like to reduce a bit more.
Body hair is still a bot of an issue the back hair is reducing slower than I want it to but it is getting there.
Well this month was a big one. While some of my physical traits such as breast development have slowed a bit a few other issues have started to appear.
I sometimes feel very lucky that I have not gone through the second puberty the way so many others have while on HRT. I think it might be that I am pretty stable in my cognitive reasoning and know when I am being a bit of a flake. I have also known when to walk away from those who might stress the bounds of friendship. I am also taking the point that I am not the only one going through this transition, when in fact it is everyone around me that is.
Though saying that this past week I experienced a bit of a need to lay on the bed and cry after a friend said a few horrible things to me. Now did I take them wrong? I am still not 100% sure on that matter but I will take the time and think about what the context was and if I did poorly in my response. Even though at this time I have not taken the time to respond to the friend directly as I am not really sure how I felt about what was said and the actions that followed.
I have also been trying to better understand the issues that lay in the agreed settlement with my ex about time with the children. Most of what I am feeling takes a bit more of an emotional toil than it once did before the HRT.
I am trying to work through most of the emotional baggage that comes with these lows with the approach of what is logical to resolve them. I am still finding that my feelings are hurt but I am somewhat able to remove elements of these issues to lessen the impact.
I have noticed a slowing in the breast growth but I am not to concerned with that at this time. Some fat redistribution has made putting on a few of my clothes a bit of a challenge and I think that this is due to also diet. In the coming months at the 18 month mark I will reduce the fat intake. I am still tender around the Areolas to about a 1/4 of an inch into the surrounding skin. Man fat due to man boobs is reducing as well. If you do not understand this it is the fat the sits in the underarm areas folding into a bit of back fat.
Hair, well this is still reducing slowly over time. I do still have the issues of Dysphoria due to the hair that men get in some areas. But it is slowly going away. Head on my scalp has gone into overdrive these last few months with the growth close to 1 -2 inches of new. Though I am still taking Hair, Skin and Nails formula. This is a good thing and helps fight the dysphoria caused my not having the right looking hair. Underarm hair where did that go? really I have not one clue why that stopped. I have found no information why it would have but I am thankful for it.
Why do I have to deal with this part of the transition! could I not have to smell mens B.O. There are times that I just have to get up and walk away from it all. In fact men who “smell” a lot or have issues or forget to shower are making me a bit ill when being near them. Though I still to this day have not found a nice way to say “Man you STINK”. I can only think that women put up with this all the time. I went to work one day and I was told how nice I smelled by one of the employees on staff (thanks Jack) you have no idea how much perfume is needed to hide some smells of B.O.
Well my skin seems to have a mind of its own. I get scratches and I don’t even know how. I have also dealt with the feeling that my hands were made from sandpaper after working one day. I have to find cream and fast and hard to do when some men have other issues and hand cream is not one of them…….b.o……just saying.
Well there is month 15 in a nutshell it went by so fast…..
Nothing comes to mind
Well I have been a bit concerned about the lack of tenderness around the Areolas, where in the past few months they have been quite sore. Well being that I am not looking every day at them to avoid the issue of thinking nothing is happening. So I took a look in the mirror and I stared a long time thinking something has change but I can’t place it. Then out of the blue it was the Areolas they were larger than they have ever been. So progress there is nice to see then a couple of days later the blood tenderness returned.
I am having a bit of a weight issue right now as well. I have gained some weight due to the weight moving toward womans areas and men’s is slowly going away. I am finding I might need a way to suppress the snack feeling.
Needing a bit more sleep during this month as well
For a long time now I have been sitting to pee. I had spent far too long out with friends and I have an issue with public toilets. No it is not what you might think, it is a germ thing. Well on the drive home I was BUSTING so much I was in pain. When I reached the house I had time to run into the house and to the bathroom. I had a male flashback and said I will pee standing up when I found out I was safer to sit down….
You see one of the things you need to understand is that when on HRT somethings shrink and for some strange reason mine did to the point it was an issue. Odd feeling for both of issues with Gender Dysphoria and there was also a blessing that I was able to see the end result look might look like on me. Then sadly it returned back to normal. Oh well……
Flowers, FLOWERS I AM IN HEAVEN!
Nothing new to report
*This is the current month