What have I done to myself!

I have unleashed a beast within my own life. I did it to myself and I have no one to blame but me. It haunts me day in and day out, morning noon and night it is always driving me. Sure I could do something about it but why? Who would have ever thought that this once crazy idea would have become a passionate force invading my every thought. Waking me in the middle of the night! Making me steal time, paper and pens. Anything just to write a few notes here and there. Argh! what have I done to myself…… I even find myself trying to explain the nuances of telling someone you just can’t say…… Because there is not life to saying that. In fact I have argued it with that person 5 times until my head was sore and i needed a break from him. Is this what I become frustrated writer. Mind you my dad’s book is moving slowly, but it is moving along. It even hit a small bump in waiting for him to come back to me with information. Plus he has lost so many memories it tears me up inside.

So while I was waiting I started another dream, my cookbook. Yeah I know I am not a chef but these are our families recipes that I would also hate to see drift off and be forgotten in time. It is a bit of fun to write a cookbook. I sit here and think how many people might enjoy these Recipes as much as our family has. The funny thing is there are not to many Desserts. I think this is due to the fact that there is hardly any room for them once you finish dinner, lol.

Though I think I might be upset if my cookbook makes more money than my Autobiography……..

Well the third book is underway

Well I don’t rest on my butt…..I have been writing a third book, lol. I know more than one at a time, maybe I am a bit crazy. This is a CookBook, I am not a chef but I love good food. I only eat crap when I have other things going on at the same time. As I do with all my books it is available to read as I write it. So enjoy for free as I am going along with it. Photos will be coming soon as well.

Employment issues

As many of the Transcommunity know or are shocked to learn is the fact that being Trans limits the employability and the options. So what can be done? Well I started looking at my life and understanding that certain types of employment are not going to want me. In that area I started thinking what can I do on my own. looking at my existing knowledge base and skill sets. Well being a Project Manager in past I started looking at planning out the rest of my future in that aspect.

I am not one for sitting idle when I can create wealth for my small family. Yeah I know I am poor right now but it does not have to stay that way. So I started looking at what I can do to create a income. So I could go back to disability support but that has too many memories linked to my ex and all that I did. So I started looking at Community services and combining that with my existing knowledge base. Now I am going to also start looking at party plan systems. I thought maybe Makeup but that did not sit very well with me as I still am learning all the in’s and out’s of the makeup game. So I looked at Candles not a very big fan of those and open flame with Kids, lol. Next was scents, after walking away with a Migraine from being at one party for an hour. I knew right then and there I could never do that. Tupperware not on your life would I ever do that. Then I went to a friends Body Shop party. I love the body shop started thinking I could do something like that. Yeah I know they have a storefront but there was something that the party plan offered that going to the store did not and that was a personal touch. Included with someone to ask questions and it was so nice.

So let’s look at that when my kids are visiting the other parent. I have my books I am writing at the same time. So next is my future employment in community services. So I started looking at several lines of income at the same time. One of the benefits of a being single parent and healthy. So I started looking at how do I link these in the best way for our family. Well one of the starts were to talk to the account friend who suggested I look into creating a Trust. Using the Government to work for me instead of against me. Have my money go to the trust and the work within the boundaries of the Trust laws. So that is what I am in the process of doing. It is to work smarter not harder than you need to. Well I hope this helps you find some ideas that might work for you as you might be facing the same issues.

But whatever you do don’t give up, don’t quit, and don’t let the dirty bastards win. Yeah you might not like the party plan I did but there are so many of there out there just be careful in your choice. There are a few of them that are going to steal money from you and the sales requirement might not be higher than you can produce. So look at the required KPI’s (key performance indicators) to make sure you can do it. Look at you comfort level to also see if you can talk to anyone. Know what style of sales you are going to make. What I mean is if you have to be a hard sale to get the KPI’s and you don’t feel right doing the hard sale then this is not the right party plan for you.

I know that I am not able to do Tupperware because I feel most of it is a rip off and I have never had my mind changed. I will never do Amway because to me that is one big Pyramid scheme if I have ever seen one. On top of that you can paint a turd any color you want it is still a turd. It’s bloody Amway in the end……. Not known for being very LGBT friendly….


Good luck and best wishes.

WTF – Sisters

Okay, I get it that NOW you don’t like me. I get it that you don’t wish to be involved in the book I am writing of our father. But why on Gods green earth would you try to pump silly and stupid things into our father’s head with the book is even not even 1/10 of the way done. You even have him worrying that the book is going to be published without letting him have the proof copy. What kind of ethics do you think I have? Shame on you for even thinking that…..

Let’s get one thing clear and straight. You were offered to spend the time and be a part of this book for him. You were given upon our dads request this chance. But when I gave you the chance, one of you said no thank you and the other would not even say that much except saying that you agree with the other sister. Yeah I get it that one of you has her undies in a knot because I Transitioned. Well guess what you old bitty, your actions during these times really set us up to never talk again. Then you compounded it by sticking your nose into my divorce. Then the final straw was to not call me when our mother died and you were right by her side. For the last 2 or 3 years you have not endured yourself to me in any way shape or form.

Let me say this about my dad’s book I am working so very hard to tell his story in a caring, loving and professional manner. My ethics are above reproach, I will do nothing to insult his memory.  I have even gone so far as to talk to anyone who might know about him. I am even making contact with our extended family members that we have not talked to in a very long time. You really need to stop treating our father like another one of your children. He is a grown man that you are twisting around and playing mind games with. You should really be ashamed of your actions.

I was thinking that maybe I was being a bit hard on you. But you know what? I really have rethought that crazy idea and I am not. I should not have to ask you not to treat our father like a child. I should not have to ask you not to be such a fucking Hypocrite. I just don’t get it we have the same father we were all raised the same way, oh no we weren’t were we…. I guess I should call myself blessed not to be like you. What a shame for you…..

I think your issues with me being Transgender are indicative of so many stereotypical narrow minded bible thumpers in America. But at the sametime you ignore your own actions and bigotry. We might have a good amount of southern blood in us but you don’t need to bring out your burning cross unless it is to hoist yourself upon it. You know it really is sad that you are acting just like our mum right up to the end of her life. I really do feel so sorry for your loss of Humanity, it really is so….. so sad………




Project Billy update

Well I am still awake so why not work on the project billy book. Not to much but enough to get it going on the way to the next goal mark of 10k worth of words. Shocking how much that needs to be written. Not as easy as writing my story.

Hey if you have not done so already help me keep this site going by buying my book. You know the one with the link on the ——————–>>>>>>>>> buttons just over here.  I have to pay the bills somehow you never know you might just enjoy it.


Complicated –

I never thought my life would be like this. I never thought I could do so many things at the same time and know things are going to plan but at the same time feel like they are going nowhere.

On the 13th I am going back to school just something else to add to my pile of craziness. I am still writing my second and third books. I am still wanting to see my book get a little more light. I am needing to start a project management setup before this monster gets to big.

I had a setback in my plans and I am not sure which way to go now. It has rocked me a bit as I look at it. I was setting up my Family Trust account with my Accountant as part of my desired plans was to have a redundancy in place. This weekend I had that redundancy choose not to want to be involved let alone be a recipient of any benefits that might come from it. I am a bit of a loss as to why would a person turn down a possibility of future securities and to help protect family members. It has left me speechless on the whole issue.

Not that I am the type of a person who will force a person to do something against the will of another. I think I might need a bit of a plan change but I don’t know what, who or which changes to make. I am completely confused on this complication. I do know that this is part of being me and some of the choices I have had to make.

Payment is always due at some point……

I won’t be shocked if I see sometime in the future several hands palms up asking for money when they ignore me now. Why did it have to be come some complicated?

Information about the US

I tried to get these in the right order. I would advise if you can vote with your feet if you are having issues where you live move to a safe state. If you are planning a visit to the US also look at the laws in that state or area you are going to visit for your own safety. I have a feeling thanks to Trump this might only get worse.