Making choices

I blew my top last night to a few close friends cause I am not understanding the issues where a once semi- attention paying parent refuses to pay attention to a child’s pleas. Even when we are in a divorce you think most parents would step up their game to prove to the court they are doing their best. All I can say is WTF.

So due to another child being very upset over mum refusing to do something at the school with her and her brothers. I canceled what I was planning to go in proxy of my ex-to-be on a mothers day event that was being held to support the bond that mothers work so hard to maintain. I had plans and dropped them at the drop of a hat for my children. Even though I am not Mum. I do not pretend to be on any level, I played a roll for many years as dad and that was my part in bring in these wonderful children in to the world.

I even found money that Niamh was wanting to buy a Mums present for her mum…..I was wrong in my thinking.

Rant over……………………………

On a good news level I have been teaching Niamh Exact English Sign Language. I have this wonderful friend who is hearing impaired and it has required me to go back to the books. There is a very fun fact about learning to sign was when my son in the US his mum and I were dating we both were going to the Sign Class and this was something we did together. It added something so very special to us. I have such great and wonderful memories with her learning sign. SO here I am going back to the books and refreshing my skills as not using it for close to 20 years you get very dull and I am finding that I need big time help understanding Auslan. I think once I am around it more and more I will pick it up. I love havi9ng friends who cause me to challenge my skills and life style. I could not be more happy with all my friends. I met this new friend  about a month ago and I have learned a lot about this person and I must say what a pleasure to call him a friend. Yup there I did it I made a statement that will have two new friends thinking is she talking about me? Guess what I did that on purpose I want you to think about what your friendship means to me. If you think I am talking about you than I am and know I consider our friendship a blessing.

I have been trying to change the negativity that has been so present in my life over these last few years. One of my New Years goals was to become more positive about life. Another was to let my current friends know that I love them all. I have been also trying to find a way tyo show it so what I have been doing is trying to lift where I stand by leaving kind messages here and there for all of them when they least expect it. What better way to make someones day. As I say you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

Hey have a great day, be kind

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Monday

Just a few days ago I pulled out some information from my mother and such information was quite disturbing. I think that the information was not a shock to the system as much as it could have been had I not been prepared. I think I could have approached my response to the way I was being treated differently had I not already given a second chance before this last chance. Im allowed to be very upset with the opportunity that they have squandered. I am not to sure where the core of the pain lies. If it is with the fact that they have chosen a belief structure over me, or could it be the issue that they are allowing a child turn a family in to rubbish, is it the issue of my sister convincing my daughter to be her daughter to replace the one she lost. I just don’t really know anymore.  Yes it is a bit harsh to say that about my sister but there is a story that I am not willing to readdress in my life ever again.

I grew up in a family that used to be amazing even with its faults. Now the faults are to big to cross and it hurts.

My original decision to create my blog was to offer up a slice of my life so others can see what trans people go through when approaching Society, Doctors and other health care professionals and last but not least family. I think there is when we have to confront family members it opens up a whole new level of frustration. There is no way to escape the pain that is caused by family we run into but at the same time we desire to be near them even though they’re sometimes extremely unhealthy to us. There are a few families who actually support their children with an unconditional love. At some point you might have to stand and say no I’m not going to take this anymore . It is sad when this line in the sand have to be drawn because you have a right to be alive and happy.sand

In the end you have to look out for number one…..

Well I am going to be selling the Family van. To many memories before things went bad in our little family. I have been looking at a few different cars that speak to me as Style.

Wow an MG talk about a step up in life. Screw the zoom zoom, lol.

Wow a Merc, yeah I know it is used. Like I could aford a new one, HAHA. it is all about style and quality this time.

There is NOTHING wrong with dreaming there is nothing wrong with reaching goals. Then making new ones. Life is far to short to waste one second with those that drag you down. Make your goals with both hands hold tight to them and never let them go.

thanks

I would also love to thank all my readers, you are making this Dyslexic’s dream come true and that is to write something that will make an impact on this world. I am always amazed at the letters that are filling my Email…….From my heart thank you for following me and having a bit of a read.