Spirit vs. Body

Is the issue of our Transition  based off of a birth defect vs. a metal health issue. This is what I want you to look at and think about with this post.The medical Gate Keepers want to make it more about the brain rather than looking at it from a stand point of a physical issue. As a physical issue we might want to look at it as a issue of mind and soul over the body. We need to deconstruct the issues of these elements let take the mind and body as physical elements and soul as another element.

The medical profession would like people to think that it was an issue of the mind. Which is linked linked to an easy solution of just a few options. One being that psychoanalysis and counseling can resolve, another being one where medical pharmaceuticals can be issued to to adjust the mindset, some pseudo science has attempted  to use regressive therapies, and currently all that is working is the Gate keeper model. As all you can see is that the forms of medical intervention are long and drawn out.

What would to happen if the Medical Model were to change and address the issues of Transgender more as a Birth Defect rather than an issue of the mind. Would the normal issues of the current Gate Keeper Model be required any longer? Granted AI can see that there would see need to be oversight on the persons who are affected and treatment before and after the HRT (hormone replacement therapies) and then once more before the issues of SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) took place.

I feel that the issues that might be resolved is the discrimination that many in the trans community face on a day to day basis. No longer would we have the issues of making laws that protect two or three different issues and use the ones that are currently in place. In America right now the American with Disabilities act fails to protect the Trans community but maybe with the change of mind that we are not sick in the head or going through some phase we might be able to look at the person who is as just a person who was born with a bum leg (sorry for the bad use of explanation). We might even get to see an improvement in the healthcare of the Trans community, a reduction in the Suicide rate, as well as issues of less Trans being a drain on the welfare system.

Even now we are seeing the same issues on the Trans community as the rest of society. We have Upper class, Middle class and poor in the economic spectrum. We also have those who identify as Strait, Gay and Bi-Sexual, yes I know that many will find this confronting to think that there is a possibility of a Strait Trans person. But thinking that Strait is an attraction of one Gender to another Gender from my research this is more often than not a result. We see the issues of Introverts and Extroverts, likes and dislikes none of this is different that any other person on this planet.

By changing the view of the Trans community from a mental issue to a birth defect issue we might see a break in the mold and the strangle hold that many religions and governments trying to attack the trans community.Thus removal of labels that are attached to a Trans person as well. Case in point and I will use myself in this case. I am a Transwoman and I was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of ladder-day Saints (Mormons)* in November of 2015 the Church created a policy that removed the ability of children to be members in any ways shape or form if the child has a parent who is in a same sex relationship until that child is 18 and denounces that relationship (wow, i know it is heavy). This policy makes it hard on a Trans person like me cause I was born with male parts and not female parts. So therefore once I have SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) done that will be corrected. BUT (yes I know anything before a but is bullshit it is needed here) in the LDS church I am not able to marry a man cause I was born with those parts and I be considered a homosexual and I would not be able to marry a woman cause I was changed into a woman and that makes me a lesbian. If the model is changed to a birth defect rather that a mental issue we could then point out that if I was to marry a man I was not a homosexual cause it was a correction of a birth defect.

Laws would no longer be needed to address the issues of SRS and name changes and Birth Cert. being fixed as due to the model being changed this could happen automatically. Thus reducing overall legal issues clogging up the courts on things that could be repaired with ease.

Now I am not saying that this would fix every problem that the Trans community have but it might help those who struggle with the change view this change in a different way? I leave it up to you to look at this idea yourself…..

“here’s my two cents”

*I am no longer a member of the LDS church, though I respect all beliefs and the right to worship as you may see fit.

Best day ever! So Far, well maybe

Mental Health is a huge issue while going through Transition. You must and need to take time to do some self care. Today was a self care day where a wonderful friend and I went out for morning tea and then went into Launceston to have a bit of fun I have never had so much fun looking at clothes and she kept trying to dress me up in a few things that made me look an feel like a circus act.But I could have been a bitch and let her buy this dress that would have made a tent out of her ass, but even I am not that cruel, lol.

We had a wonderful lunch at this little hole in the wall place in Launceston called Meat Cheese and bread. I could smell the food close to a block away it grabbed us and said give me a try. We saw a Philly Steak sandwich on the menu. I have not had a real one of these since being in the US some 14 years ago. I took one bite and was thrust into memories of good friends and good food. You know that zone where your heart takes a snapshot and nothing will ever compare. Well I have to say that is until sitting in a park with my friend. We sat there talking over our lives and the struggles that we have faced over the last two weeks.

I would show you photos but I want you to think of the wonderful moment and remember a time where you have felt that memory.

As we left I went and got a couple of bath bombs to relax with and sooth my body and pull out the toxins of dealing with my Ghost. As we walked down the street we had a most wonderful time and then one of my other friends ran into us!!! I just love her so much she has a most wonderful soul and is so kind. I knew she had been having a hard time with a person and then I grabbed out one of my bath bombs and gave a share. I look at life and think this is what friends do for one another.

So to two of my friends I would love to say thank you for a great day. I love my bath tonight.


Teaching the children

So this few months in the children’s lives without ex-to-be has been hard on us. We have been trying to find ways to pay back God for all of his blessings. The one thing that I have found that the children are like Diamonds. Follow me on this for a second Where are diamonds found? What are they worth? Here is my answers Children are found everywhere but that can only be truly reached by hard hard work. Children are worth every second that you put into them. In the end teaching them thing such as love, kindness and forgiveness will work magic and wonders beyond beliefs.

What I am talking about is the fact that at the start of this year I have made a list of goals. One of those goals to start my year was to find a way to do service ever day. Now have I been able to do so, no. My goal was harder than I though it would have been. But I have found out that sometimes things happen in the most amazing ways. I set out what I wanted to do to the universe, god, or however heard me. Shortly afterwards a friend and his wife were looking for someone to help with a bread run on Friday nights. We once a fortnight I get a load of bread dropped off for me to had out to others who might be doing life a little hard. Sometimes it is very hard to do as I am stepping outside our comfort zone. But we have been doing it for close to 2 months now and wow have I seen some amazing children who show compassion beyond anything I could have every hoped for. I tell it you is such a sight to behold when my children say lets try that house.

This last week I was really hit in the gut when a family report said I was a bad parent. I was just so shocked after all we do as a family this (beeping) person had to gall to say I am doing a bad job. Please the evidence says more that this stupid person ever could. I make sure school is attended and I continue what I have been doing for the last five years of keep in touch with my children’s teachers. Yet even though someone has not been doing it at all the last two terms. Yet I am the bad parent, stupid piss ant writer of the report. Now the attorney is going to have to really go on the attack. I was hoping that would not have to happen.

Well tonight I am going to also do some work on the about me side of my blog. I feel that expanding on this part is going to help the book  a lot.


Just a few days ago I pulled out some information from my mother and such information was quite disturbing. I think that the information was not a shock to the system as much as it could have been had I not been prepared. I think I could have approached my response to the way I was being treated differently had I not already given a second chance before this last chance. Im allowed to be very upset with the opportunity that they have squandered. I am not to sure where the core of the pain lies. If it is with the fact that they have chosen a belief structure over me, or could it be the issue that they are allowing a child turn a family in to rubbish, is it the issue of my sister convincing my daughter to be her daughter to replace the one she lost. I just don’t really know anymore.  Yes it is a bit harsh to say that about my sister but there is a story that I am not willing to readdress in my life ever again.

I grew up in a family that used to be amazing even with its faults. Now the faults are to big to cross and it hurts.

My original decision to create my blog was to offer up a slice of my life so others can see what trans people go through when approaching Society, Doctors and other health care professionals and last but not least family. I think there is when we have to confront family members it opens up a whole new level of frustration. There is no way to escape the pain that is caused by family we run into but at the same time we desire to be near them even though they’re sometimes extremely unhealthy to us. There are a few families who actually support their children with an unconditional love. At some point you might have to stand and say no I’m not going to take this anymore . It is sad when this line in the sand have to be drawn because you have a right to be alive and happy.sand

In the end you have to look out for number one…..

Well I am going to be selling the Family van. To many memories before things went bad in our little family. I have been looking at a few different cars that speak to me as Style.

Wow an MG talk about a step up in life. Screw the zoom zoom, lol.

Wow a Merc, yeah I know it is used. Like I could aford a new one, HAHA. it is all about style and quality this time.

There is NOTHING wrong with dreaming there is nothing wrong with reaching goals. Then making new ones. Life is far to short to waste one second with those that drag you down. Make your goals with both hands hold tight to them and never let them go.


I would also love to thank all my readers, you are making this Dyslexic’s dream come true and that is to write something that will make an impact on this world. I am always amazed at the letters that are filling my Email…….From my heart thank you for following me and having a bit of a read.

Dust in the wind

Wow..I did not see that coming.

Well the last two days have been a real humdinger, you see i am trying to be nice of what I thought of the last two days right now. Here is what I really thought about it all F-ing BEEP WTF do you think saying BEEP which is a BEEPing lie about me would accomplish. Wow how BEEPING Still Beeping LOW of a human being can a BEEPing person be. As I like to say as the shock took me by surprise (Beep) me running backwards, maybe up a BEEPing hill, in Beeping snow, may be even BEEPING naked. No I am still ranting about being called a BEEPING BEEPING BEEPING person who is lower than the scum of the earth. I am so BEEPING mad about being lied about that you can really go BEEP yourself. Do you ever BEEPING think that I will be the kind of person who will forgive that BEEPING stunt. (calm voice now) almost want to say to you have really become so desperate in you life to need to mean something? To create a new lie and story to tell people, much like the lies you told about the last person who trusted your love. That you feel you can BEEPING drag another living human being down to your level. Well news for you….

(saying with conviction)

This is my YEAR

This is my time
This is my life
Those are my Kick ass friends

Nothing you can say
Not one little lie
None of your stories

Well ever change the truth
You don’t matter
You can’t control me
I’m not yours any longer

You lost the right to be called a friend
You lost the right to be called a lover
You lost more than you will ever gain

Go away!

(back to calm)

I am such a blessed person right now. I have some of the greatest friends a person could ever hope for. Ones when the earth shook took the place of Atlas and steadied my world. Showed me hope, helped design my dreams and started the ground works on a firm foundation. Which no longer includes you and that frustrates you.

This is my year!

I can’t stop what has begun. The power of true friendship is amazing. I once hid and doubted myself because of you. Now that there is no you, i don’t hide, doubts are fleeting. I never knew how many friends I really had in my life until you were gone. I simply love being hugged by so many friends. I love the fact that they call me to make sure I am doing well despite the adversity you have become. I love the fact that honesty once again is supreme, that I no longer have to second guess what is being said to me day to day. I love the fact that in 6.25 years all of my cells in my body will have been renewed. That means none of them…….and you. Yes this is my rant, yes you will never ever not in a million years be allowed to enjoy my company again. Face it your not relevant……. 

I was told yesterday by my attorneys PA to get mad. I did for a short time about as long as it took me to write this silly old rant. But then it hit me, my anger is mine, not yours and you are no longer worth the energy.

It is like old movies stars and old washed up singers (Billy Ray Cyrus). Who tell stories to say look at me look at me. But in the end those types of people are empty and void. In time even the old sages warn Beauty is Fleeting…… What you build here in this time will echo in the eternities.


This is my year
These are the best friends a person could every want!

I will grow old

I will sit around with these friends and smile over the past
you will be nothing but dust in the wind

So sad too bad you’re gone


Ok all invasion day stuff aside… Cause I understand why and how you feel. This day has brought a wonderful sense of life that I have missed for so long. The children even felt it. There is the point in time where nothing really fucking matters but good people just being good people. Oh that day was today. You see I have heard int he past that “you are nothing without me” WOW news flash I am Awesome and once again I keep hearing that people love the children and are amazed about how wonderful they are with manner and kindness except when Gabriel shook a can of Coke and asked a lovely woman to open in and it got all over her nice clothes need less to say Gabriel got it back and then some. Lesson taught and when he got home he told me how sorry he was for getting her with a can of fizzy.

I can not believe how much fun we had so many new faces, Which to be honest I was really spooked to meet them all as there were so many in such a short time. But not one of them cared that I was trans. In fact I was so relaxed.


As another night comes to a close

Oh we the children and I went out for the night and had a wonderful time fireworks and great company. I so love the children we have come so far over what feels like such a short time.

I have been working with Niamh so much with her homework. We are getting caught up on all the words we need to know. I think we would have been miles ahead of the other side would have lent a hand but we are making due.

Someone asked me a “what if” their reasoning was it is not uncommon. Well funny thing as many people who really know me well once I say NO it does mean NO, not maybe, It means NO. I just can’t I am now finding out who I am and what has been going on and what I have missed. I said to my friend there is a huge sadness when you heart realizes that you have missed something more than something else. Oh though I hate fielding the question from the children “Why can’t you and mum just get back together?” I am just honest and tell them I just can’t and I am sorry. What more can be said, I know this is part of their processes of grief. This has also been why I have not really been looking to date all that much. I think they needed me more than I needed someone else. So I enjoy being with them through the good times and the bad. Comforting them when the sadness and confusion sets in and we work through it. Tears dry, smiles start once more when they know they are ok and we are all ok. I check on them still like I did when they were very young 2-3 times a night. I don’t know why, I touch their heads, i listen to the sighs after the slight touch. I hear their words when I tuck them in “I love you dad”. They are even saying it in their sleep. It is at this point in my life every time they are near that I know we are all loved and happy.

The Question

If someone was to ask you why do you like kissing……. How would you express your reasons.

The First kiss, as the moment of the tenderness filled with apprehension, excited, softness, gentle, the deep breath that is taken just before the lips touch. The warm hands touching, not moving just the stillness of the air that surrounds the two in the moment. As the two part smile, exhale look into each others eyes a small giggle is released, before the two join again.

I wrote and rewrote my answer over and over again. I think i was able to express it completely………

Please remember these are just fast posts for a little bit as the children and I are more concerned with spending quality time……

The end of another day

Well, I spent the whole day thinking about how I was going to talk about all this. My whole blog is to show everyone that Transpersons are just like the rest of the world. I have always felt a deep disgust for those who look down on others. I steered clear of those that are haters, I have actively taken stands against those who pour their vile hate out for others to see.

I am proud of my children every last one of them. Even though I have split from the last three’s mother we worked very hard when we were a team. I have amazing children who have love for those who are less fortunate than ourselves. We have worked hard at spreading smiles and love trying to reverse the hate. There was a time where guns were not allowed and in our simple little home we still hold to those values. We don’t where you come from, we don’t care the color of your skin, we don’t care who you believe in, we don’t care who you marry, we don’t care what lies between your legs and we do care about You.

I thank you for taking the time and reading my blog. I thank you for the time you have spent getting to know us. I hope that by knowing us a little better you feel safe enough to reach out talk write me a question or stop me on the street to ask a question. If you are scared of me you don’t need to be. Yes I know there are days I look like a dogs breakfast. Then there are days that I don’t. But in the end I am here on this wonderful place we all call home.

I live in a place where I think is one of the best ion the whole world and I have seen a lot, Tasmania, Australia. The weather changes every five minutes, people are kind and wonderful with a great sense of humor. Yeah we have a few bad apples, what place doesn’t. Overall I don’t think i could find something better. Sorry Montana, I know I said I would be back someday, I just don’t think i will make that trip again.

Sometimes you have to know when to say when. I am tired of moving ,finding new friends. Cause sometimes you can’t replace the best ones. I was only here in Tassie for a short time when I met a group of mates and was welcomed in to the “fold”. 14 years later I am still friends with 95% of them and even though my outward appearance has change they have stayed “True Blue Mates”. Hell we are back to being nerds once more and having a few laughs and playing role playing games. Nothing is better than sitting with those friends. Wow 14 years is a long time, once I was convinced of moving to another state in Australia. I am so glad that I procrastinated, I knew it was not right for us. Time with these friends has shown me that.

Hey on a second note have you ever had a flat forehead? Yup you know that one where you palm your forehead so hard it is flat now. Well that is me a few times these last seven months now it is starting to look normal.

P.S. I once told someone “that’s is between you and god” Just remember that sometime you will need to face that comment yourself better be able to return it to another when they gave it to you.

Be kind to another person today give it a go what do you have to lose.