There once was a time

There once was a time I thought I knew what it was to be discriminated against. I thought I knew what racism was. I thought I knew what hatred was.

Those things being said should shine a light on to so many people myself included, I thought I knew. But it was not until I stepped out of the shadows and told the truth about myself that I really had an awaking so to speak. When I was born I won the lottery I was a White Male child born in the USA to a middle class family. This was not the place to see that you were going to face the dark side of humanity. Some of it was my father was in the military and he did not stand for that kind of shit. In fact if you tried you were going to be in for a RUDE awakening. But that appeared not to equate to those in the LGBT spectrum, or at least it seems that way.

I was brought up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). My time in the church was more like a roller coaster ride. There were times that it did live up to the hype it brought with it so many dreams that later in life it could not live up to. Now before we go any further. I am not here to bash any belief structure it is their right to believe how they want. As long as it is not shoved down my throat or interferes with my life. I do believe in a power greater than myself a God so-to-speak if you would like. But I do not fall on my knees and beg for anything. But we do say thank you at dinner for all that we have.

Now that was said lets move on. As I was saying I thought I knew. But I really did not. In the church I went to there are not many in powerful spots in the church who are black, Hispanic or anything other than white and there are ZERO LGBT people in them as well. So I also lived in a town where when the University was out those of color was not seen to a point where you would notice. Or would you? I remember my dad befriending a family who moved to our small city and were a mixed race family. They really were not given a fair go by the town in fact they left within two years because of all the problems. But my dad was kind and fair to them to the point of friendship. This was how racism in our family was, it did not matter the colour of your skin we all bleed red.

But this did not matter because my dad did not know any and none of his children were. That he knew of…

Now, I thought I knew…

When I stepped out I lost 75%-90% of those who I thought I knew and loved. I was even outed by my own family to others I had chosen not to tell at the time that I stepped out. Their reasons to them seem right but to anyone in the LGBT+ community we would all say WTF. It did not change the fact of who I am at that time. Though it did break my heart and was a huge slap in the face. But even at that time I thought I knew…

Now years later (3-4) I am starting to understand that I knew very little about discrimination. I did not see it I did not feel it, until I stepped out of the shadows. A couple of days ago I was faced with it once more. But this time was different. I was not expecting it. You see when I take the time and need to go into town I clean up well and can pass (if you don’t know what this means, ask me). As I was waiting for my Uber I saw this nice new Harley pull up and I told the rider “Nice Bike” because it was. Sometimes it is nice to hear kindness and that was exactly what I was doing. The guy even said thank you. But he could have just left it that way both of us feeling good about our choices. But as he was about to turn the corner and go into the store he said “You’re a Boy not a Girl a Boy” I was shocked. After all this is this is Tassie most of the time people who don’t know or like say nothing. But what was even more shocking was the fact that he was okay to say thank you about me telling him he had a nice bike. But was to cowardly to tell me to my face about not liking me. I am not angry in fact it was one of those things in life that you do a double take and think did I hear him right? But I did and I think to myself that not everyone understands or likes some people are even so narrow minded that they hate what they don’t know.

Now I am starting to understand discrimination in far to many ways. From people how throw a tissy fit about bathrooms or those who stare at you from time to time. Sadly then there are the issues when looking for work. Yeah I know it is against the law but really pull your head in anyone with a half of a brain can get around those laws. HR companies do it all the time and it is a shocker to many if you only knew the truth. Part of the reason I have a problem with people who say they are Christians with their mouths but are no where near it with their hearts. It tends to be a bunch of lip service. I did not know this guy nor will I remember him if I ever see him again. Does he matter only in the context of this post and talking about it to some friends but after this, no. Why because it says more about him than it does about me. Just like my father and the family story it says a lot about my father. When it comes to my sisters it says a lot about them as well.

Yeah it hurts to a point if we let in. It is also very sad that so many people have problems that they need to say negative things to others to make themselves feel good. Or those who try to justify outing someone. Or even those who say you are welcome here but don’t use that restroom you have to use the disabled one. Or even the school who says the same thing.

Do you really understand?